is their something wrong with me?
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is their something wrong with me?
| Fri, 01-21-2005 - 8:32pm |
hi, i am pretty new to the boards, i posted one other time, about advice, well if you followed my post titled am i a fool or what? well i hve been seeing this married man for a while, and everytime we go out i have to pay, he never has money, he never even offers. well he will call me m-thrus. to go out but wheneveri ask him to take me out on a fri. this is when he gets paid, he says yes, but then i never hear from him!! i told him that this really bothers me because i get dressed all nice and then he never calls, i have told him in the past, just a least call me and let me know if you can't make it. this really hurts me. he says all the time that he loves me , but now i wonder if he is just lying. this is really beggining to take a toll on my self esteem, i already have a bad self image, i think maybe if i was prettier or thinner etc etc, maybe he would call me on fri and want to take me out. what is wrong with me? i just don't know what to do, i have tried to ignore his calls, but i am not strong enough and cave in because i really miss him, he always seems to flatter me i think that is the reason i had the A in the first place because of the the attention. you see my husband never notices me, never says athing nice , and this guy does, but i am beggig to think that the OM is just using me for sex etc. i feel so bad about myself , what do i do? sorry to ramble just a little down. thanks
heartbroken
heartbroken

Hi Hbg,
Let me preface what I'm going to say by telling you that I have been in your shoes and want to make sure you don't take anything that I say as me coming down on you.
That being said:
<<>>
-You don't hear from him because he's got money to do things on his own and he doesn't need to take you with him.
<<>>
-Of couse he's going to tell you he loves you. He knows that's what you need to keep taking care of HIS needs. This is all about him, honey. Remember that.
<<>>
-This is why he's able to take advantage of you, and why he will never treat you the way you should be treated. If you think so little of yourself, why should he think differently? You deserve better, from him and from yourself. If you don't feel capable of giving that to yourself and DEMANDING that from your HUSBAND, you should get into therapy, sweetie, cause you will never be happy. An affair is not the way to get the attention you need. If you don't feel appreciated, address it. And if you can't get what you need from the marriage, you need to move on.
Good luck to you sister. He is clearly using you and will continue to do so as long you allow it.
"When I meet a man, I ask myself 'Is t
Heart
Sunburn has it dead on the money, this JERK is in love with what YOUR MONEY can buy HIM, he is a USER a BLOOD SUCKER a LEACH... are you getting it yet.
Time to start RESPECTING yourself and demanding it from the people in your life.
Oh and dump the turkey.
Free