there is hope!
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|Thu, 04-24-2003 - 12:22am|
I was leaving my affair of over 3 years with a man who was my dear friend
of many years. It hasn't been easy & we tried to stay friends since our breakup.
But I met a guy -- I'm not saying he's THE "one" but he's neat & fun & sexy &
thinks I'm great. AND he's single. It's wonderful to be able to tell friends
about him -- to hear him say he's telling his friends about me. To go out together --
to go anywhere we want without fear, paranoia etc. And to be together guilt
free -- it's SO different from an affair. You can't imagine how light & free &
fun it can be without all the baggage of an affair. Anyway, my current happiness
made me think back on when I thought there was no hope & think of this place &
all the hurting that's here. You are all in the hardest part but there is hope.
I didn't think so back then either.
I didn't do no contact with my former lover. I'm not talking to him now by his choice
because it's hard for him, with me involved with someone else. I respect that
& just know we have a connection & some day maybe we can talk again. I still love
him but he even admitted he feels lighter & freer now. The "burden is lifted," he
said. He still says he wants to leave his W eventually & was tempted after the A ended,
but I think he's glad he didn't. If just for his kids & his own sense of duty.
I don't know -- that's his & all his now. where it belongs.
But I'm genuinely happy now -- not just because of my new guy but because I
made a new life for myself without my lover at the center anymore. I developed
interests -- including working out, rock climbing, friends, & doing a lot more
with my kids. I won't always be on this cloud -- I haven't always been but my life is good & strong & happy & I'm so glad I ended the A.
You'll get there too -- good luck everyone. It's so hard but there is another
chapter for us all.