Is there really more than this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Is there really more than this?
3
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 9:22am
I keep finding myself wanting to go back to ex-MM. Not, so much because I love him, but because what we had was comfortable. It's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I wonder what he is doing. I wonder if he feels as badly as I do. I will admit, until I ended my A, I lost my appreciation for the small things, that ex-MM and I shared. "You never miss your water, til your well runs dry."

I come to the board, and I read all the post. To a certain degree, it makes me sad, to read and feel the pain of the posters.

Is there really more. I feel like my life will always be filled with pain, and turmoil. I couldn't wait to end it......then I did, and I feel like crap. Do I expect to much from life?

I hope everybody is having a wonderful MONDAY.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 9:44am
Time is the key. An A is like an addiction. I never knew this until I was in one, though. It's been 6 months for me and whenever I have memories, good or bad creep in, I say to myself. "just let it go" and I take a deep breath. Even though it's long over and neither of us wanted it anymore I still looked forward to seeing him at work, just as a friend. Lately, I could care less if I ever see him again. Not because I'm angry, just because I let it all go. It's such a peaceful feeling, too. No more obsessing or trying to control things that I can't.

This is what works for me, but like I said mostly it's time.

Have a great day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 10:52am
Iknow time will help ease the pain. It not all the ending of the A. I just turned 40 on Saturday. I'm depressed. I feel like I'm trying to correct 20 years of bad decision instantly. I want this wonderful, perfect life, and I want it NOW. I'm so far from where I want to be in my life. It's so hard for me to put into words. It's so much more than just ending the A. Although that does play a big part in my depression. I'm ashamed to go to the doctor to get something. My doctore is so conservative when it comes to anti-depressants, he probably wouldn't give them to me anyway.

Thanks for responding........

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 11:35am
First off, if your Doc won't give you meds than go see someone else. Half the battle is won just by recognizing that there is a problem.

I always try to focus on the positives. I too will be 40 on my next birthday. I have a wonderful family, I'm glad I have my health and a great job that I love, just to name a few. Try it, think about the good things. It does sound like counceling might be a good idea for you. My mother and brother both suffer from depression and the meds really help them. I also have a teenager that has been diagnosed with depression and in the past has been on meds for it. She always lets me know when she's down, since she knows that things can be better than what she is feeling. Also for her, when she's feeling ok, she can go off her meds.

Life is way too short to go through it unhappy. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I often question what the reason is, eventually the answers come.

I know what the reason was for me having an A. My father cheated and one day up and left my mother, once we were all adults. We were so angry with him for years. My A made me understand my father better and improved our relationship that was tainted for a long time. It made me realize that we do make mistakes and we have to live with that, but there are much worse things in life.

Do what's best for you and seek help from someone who can help you. Good luck.


Edited 3/8/2004 12:04 pm ET ET by alifechoice