There's a Light Beyond These Woods

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2010
There's a Light Beyond These Woods
6
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 12:49pm

So I was thinking today when I was getting ready this morning for work of how often I have to keep changing my pattern of thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 2:20pm

Yes, my girl, it is one day at a time!

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 2:56pm

Good for you on your 1st week of NC. Soon they will add up as long as their are no slip ups, but the key is taking it one day at a time. Looking too far ahead only fogs up our vision again, and right now your visibility is beginning to sharpen as reality slowly seeps in. No, it's not always such a pretty picture when things come into focus after an A, but at least now you will "know" what you are dealing with instead of what you "believed" you were dealing with.

Affairs survive in our imaginations more that anything we can tangibly hold onto, so once the imagination has nothing left to feed upon, we are left with just the crumbs that were actually given to us. Feeling "flat" is normal. The air has been let out of the affair balloon, but truth be told, it was seeping out slowly all along. Our inflated balloons (can relate this to being our egos) were initially pumped up on attention, flattery, ego boosts, etc. Little by little this stuff seeps out over time and trying to replenish it was exhausting.

All A's have an expiration date stamped on them. If our balloons don't pop on their own, you can bet that someone or something will pop it for us. Keep moving fwd, Andy, even if you have to lift one foot in front of the other. You will pick up momentum the further you are away from the magnetic pull of the A addiction. (((Hugs)))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 9:18pm
Hi Andy,
I am a newbie, too...I did have a few slip-ups along the way but have gotten through my first full 7 days of complete NC. I had a rough day yesterday and a bit of a rough morning (had a good healthy cry this morning when H was gone and the kids were at school) but I am doing better, even though I had to see xAP at work earlier this evening. I am trying hard for the LC thing at work...sometimes I am stuck in situations that involve me being in the same area as him while others at work are talking to him. I just have to imagine in my head that he is a clown and I do not like clowns, so I do not want to go near him. :)
Things will get better, Andy. This whole NC thing and not being able to continue a friendship (as if xAP was ever our true "friend") is tough and really sucks some days, but as others who are into tweenville and beyond have said on here before..."every day out of the A is better than any day in the A". (or something like that!) keep on keeping on. And keep posting when you need to vent! I need someone to post back to! ;)

Hearts <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2009
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 9:59pm

Andy,

I think you are doing beautifully and are well ahead of the curve in some of your realizations.

silence is eloquent, silence is dignified, silence is heard. ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2010
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 12:16am

Absolutely Andy- one day at a time. When I ended the A I was euphoric and then came crashing down a few days later, broke NC and started again. Shudder. But lately it feels as though the lows are not as low as they were before and they don't last that long. Like you so rightly said- it's time to kick this bad habit. Not the habit of the A (that was kicked when we started NC) but the habit of glorifying the A in our imaginations.

Good for you, Andy. Here's wishing you continued strength, resolve, and self-affirmation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 1:01am

Andy,

Right on.