think I'm making progress.but need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2009
think I'm making progress.but need help
3
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 4:23pm
One of my friends ran into Xap and mentioned to him that I had been through an ordeal a few months ago and that everyone thinks that I was drugged including me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 4:38pm

JLIL, (I hope you will change your moniker soon) ;-)


There is NOTHING this JAM can force you to do, so just keep ignoring and deleting his emails. Also, you do not have to prove anything to him, for any purpose. I am sorry he's being such an a$$ and harassing you at work, so every time he calls make sure you document the time and day....just in case, for your own protection.


Keep up with the NC, and stay the course. Tomorrow is a new day and one hopefully without the drama you have had today.


(((Hugs)))

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 6:09pm

Hi Jap,

I'm with Iddy. I am sorry that he is harassing you - but breaking NC with him achieved nothing constructive. I know it is difficult staying strong when they 'come at you', but you have to take responsibility for keeping yourself emotionally well. As you have discovered, he has nothing to offer you, hasn't changed one but, and will continue to create drama in your life as long as you choose to engage with him. Today he learned that all he has to do is harass you and eventually you will cave. It will take you re-establishing swift NC boundaries again, and cease any and all contact immediately.

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 8:03pm

Hi JLIL,


Iddy and TU covered most of it. I just wanted to add some suggestions and some questions too.


Hopefully this was just a one day hissy fit on his end. As Iddy suggested, it is time to start documenting it especially if it continues tomorrow. If he shows up to your job, ask him to leave and if he does not call the police.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.