Thinking about a fishing trip!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2012
Thinking about a fishing trip!
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 5:08am

I have been thinking about fishing....I havent yet!

Ironically xAP is going interstate on a fishing trip with his mates this weekend I guess this is the trigger, knowing he is away from home without his family. I need advice on how to stop myself from sending that late night text or email... I find myself these last few nights waking at 3am thinking about what i would send, by morning i think "dont be stupid, NO FISHING" but ironically again, I am going away with my girlfriends for the weekend and no doubt we will be drinking etc and I am scared I am going to fish. I always thought I wasnt the addictive type, and couldnt understand why people cant quit smoking or lose weight, i would think just dont smoke...simple or dont have that pizza etc.  Now I know exactly how they feel.  I also know I have nothing to gain from fishing.....if i get no reply i will be upset, if i get a nasty reply i will be upset, if i get a nice reply i will be upset because i let myself down! I know its a no-win situation, so why do i want to fish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 5:50am
Tily don't do it, yesterday my xap fished and he ruined my day and i was happy and in a good mood. Ten minutes before i started work, i ended up late for work, distracted and wanting to leave. I cried in front of people. When i got home my anxiety was through the roof. I could have him back in a heartbeat, he's made it known he will always be there. Why though to live a crap half life, to wait for crumbs, to feel like i always did? I don't feel good now, my nc is new but i have faith i will feel better, if i go back there's no chance. Its the same for you, please don't do it you will have to start all over and believe me its no easier the next time, but they sure believe they have you where they want you and you don't mean anything when you walk. Don't do it choose you!
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 6:02am

Only you know why you want to hurt yourself.

Got time for years of analysis?

Accept that you have been rejected. He didn't give up his life for you.

Accept that as a blessing in your life.

If he wouldn't do that, then he isn't worth being with you.

Give him the gift of peace.

As someone who has experienced that fishing from xAP, I can tell you it hurts. I ended up feeling like a yo yo every time. Going from hurt to bad hurt.

End it. Don't try to hang on to something that just isn't there.

Accept it was a fantasy and it's over. It's tough. It's hard. It hurts.

It hurts the least.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.