thinking i should leave but how?
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| Sat, 05-21-2005 - 1:12am |
I am thinking i need to get out of this affair. I have had a relationship with a MM and I am MW both have kids. For 3 years now i have been involved in an affair with this man and I have know him as a good friend and collegue for 9 years. We work for the same company and live in opposite ends of the country.. we get together 4- 5 times a year- have alot of same friends in business and personal.
Where is this going? I love this man and he says he loves me.. but he feels trapped...in his marriage.. I do too. My feelings run so deep we connect on so many levels professionally, interests, children... and we both feel awful about what this could do to our children... that is the reason we both don't leave our unhappy marriages.
He has told me he wants to be there for his kids, and stays for them. I do to, but I struggle every day with the guilt of this affair and how many people i would hurt in the process.. aren't i entitled to be happy and provide this happy mom to my kids?
I just don't know what to do... need some help
Dee

What are your choices here? !1) Leave your H and get together with MM 2) Leave your H and look for someone else 3) fix your marriage 4) Continue until you are caught
Let's see #1 will mm really leave and will you be together? Odds are against it. There are statistics floating around but the chances are like 1 in 100. #2 you could just leave your H and start over looking for another guy or be content with, or you can be on the side for mm. #3 you can fix your marriage. Put MM out of your life and put your focus back on your family and H and do what it takes to make it work. I like this option the best because it is really the only one that acomplishes the not hurting your children part. And then last #4 if you get caught your H will make the decision on whether you can stay or not. Your kids will definately get hurt and I really can't imagine anything more embarrassing.
Everyone on this board has finally come to the place where we realize that we can not do this anymore. It is wrong and it takes away your integrity and your peace of mind. It destroys you. It is a hard process and I know that I am still struggling to make it through. The best way is to have NO CONTACT with the affair partner. It hurts and is hard but you start to be able to see your life a lot more clearly. There is a ton of information on this board that can really help you so read through the old posts. Everyone here is very supportive. I wish you the best, you have my support. It is tough but already things are so much better at home...kc