For those that are in therapy or tried
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| Sun, 03-06-2005 - 6:55pm |
I have wondered if I am strong enough to stay away from my xMM if he comes at me again. Right now he is staying away, so there is nothing going on, although I'm pretty miserable. I'm glad I found these boards - never thought there would be a support group for this! I guess there "is" one for everything!
Anyway, I have noticed that when I think about the situation objectively and try to take myself out of it and analyze it, I'm ok. However, within 5 mins or 5 hrs, I could be right back in the whole emotional part of it and the "whys? how could he?" etc and I break down again.
After looking through, it seems, hundreds of postings here, I've realized that I need a therapist also. I'm ashamed is why I never went to one before. I should know that a therapist is not going to judge me, just like the people here aren't going to judge me since they know where I'm coming from and have been there themselves. So for those of you who are currently in therapy or have tried it, how much did it help you? Do you think that you would have ever gotten through this w/o it?

You get out what you put into it, it requries real honesty with the T and yourself to be effective...if you can do that you can get a lot out of it.
Be prepared to work on yourself outside of the T office.
Free
I called the number for my insurance to find me a therapist. I got the message service and someone will call me back tonight. I called because I was counting the hours (not to days yet) that I haven't cried. I was doing so well. No crying yesterday, and nothing today until 8:40 pm. At least it wasn't the gut-wrenching sobs that last for hours that I usually have. This didn't even last a minute, but it was enough to get me off my butt and on the phone.
I'm sure we've all been there, but the best way I can describe how I typically cry over this is from Practical Magic. At the beginning of the movie, they show the ancestor, Maria, sitting by the shoreline crying her eyes out over her lost lover. It's full of despair and I've been on the floor collapsed in my kitchen with this crying before. I don't want to do that anymore. That's why I'm here and why I want to get a therapist. I hope that it all helps. I think this board is already helping me.
The test is tomorrow when I have to see xMM again all day at work. I haven't seen him since last Monday since I didn't go to work the rest of the week.
u are doing great, calling the therapist is the first step
its ok to cry
like i said fallon, tomorrow is another day, try to concentrate at work, maybe bring a MP3 player and play some music if this is allowed in your workplace
go out for lunch, away from work and dont hang around the parking lot
take care, i sent u email if u want to talk
max
I am going to see a therapist myself. Called for the appointment, and DW checked insurance.
I probably should have seen a therapist many years ago. It might have helped center me and I could have avoided my issues.
Religion was forced on me as I was growing up. I guess that was suppose to work to keep me out of trouble, but it didn't.
But I believe you, like me, are taking a good step toward a better future.
It is hard though. Damn hard. It has been two weeks of NC for me, a long two weeks.
Good luck to you, my friend.
Regards,
CD