Thoughts Please
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| Mon, 08-30-2004 - 9:42am |
I sent my MM a note 3 weeks ago – just after telling him (through email – most of our contact was through email) that I needed to go back to being just friends.
He said he would accept whatever I decided, said he expected to get a note like that from me. (We only had intimate contact a couple of times but have been friends and flirting for over 3 years. I’ve known him for 6.) And I was never very comfortable with cheating on my H. In fact, I resisted for several months.
Anyway, I let him know how I felt about everything. He knows this was the first time I had ever done anything like this, but I am not so sure about him. Once he asked me what he could say to make me believe he wasn’t just going to move onto someone else after me and I told him ‘I don’t think there is anything you can say’. (My reason being he is lying to his wife – how can I get past that? And, he never told me that he had never done anything like this before. To me its kind of lying-by-omission.)
So I explained to him that I did this because of the passion I felt with him. Told him that I don’t want to think that he is going to go through his marriage cheating on his wife. (He kissed me when they first got engaged 2 years ago.)
He never answered my note. And I had sent another little ‘good luck’ wish to him at work.
Do you think he’s pissed at me? I know that I can’t contact him again. I am prepared to wait ‘til hell freezes over! I would write again but if he doesn’t answer that one I would feel even worse. I’ve told him before how I don’t like silences (from him.) And if I see him at work, I don’t even think I can say ‘hi’ because I have no idea where his head is at.
It’s just very hard to have spilled your guts and then get no response back. He’s never been one to write very long emails, but I really thought I would get some type of answer from him.
Does anyone have any thoughts? I really do think he’s a good guy – I just think he’s mad at some of the things I may have implied. I am hoping he will eventually send me something because I don’t want our friendship to be over.

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Thanks for asking the question...really good one.
It is good to know that you are not alone in all this. I also realize I need to make a FIRM commitment to myself to get through this no matter what. I agree to balance things, it is just that sometimes, I can't even think straight. Well, hope I will improve as everyday goes by. Thanks, your advice and experience are very helpful.
Hugs to you,
I've put into effect the NO CONTACT rule, and I hear it's very effective - he'll stop calling/texting soon. It's hard to be alone, but worse to be lied to. Sad thing is, I think he's more honest with me than he is with her - poor soul.
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