Three months and when does it stop?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Three months and when does it stop?
3
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 6:54pm

Hi,

I haven't posted in a long while, but do still sometimes lurk. My A ended in November, and I ended all contact in January. For the longest time I haven't even had an urge to contact him. Lately,I find myself thinking of him again all the time. Does it ever stop? I know everyone's healing is different,and most days I am doing pretty good. I don't want to be with him anymore. I know it would never have worked anyway, but now I'm missing him and it makes me crazy!

Fortunately we don't work together, or hang out in the same places. Our meeting each other at all was a fluke! We once were friends as couples, but that has ended too. I'm thankful that I don't have to try to avoid him, or stay friends so that the spouses aren't suspicious. And I know he will never disrespect my wishes by ever contacting me. I just want to be over this, and it seems as if it will never happen.

Someone please tell me that I WILL stop thinking of him so much everyday? I will, won't I?

Owl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 7:40pm
It can take a really long time :(. Even with my wanting it over, at times, it's been hard because when things were good we had a really good friendship. You get used to talking to that person or even hearing from them in email. Its habit really. You just have to do your best to get through those times when you keep thinking of that person, and try to come up with things to distract yourself. I think sometimes too if we're married, and had an EMA- it was a chance to talk to an adult male without having to talk about the bills, the laundry and whatever else needs doing in a family/home. At times it feels good to just be "us" and talk about other things..Which is definitely why married people need "dates"..I know this more than ever now..
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 8:29pm

OWL

Cycles of withdrawl happen to most everyone you go along and all seems good, then they hit and you find yourself were your at today, but the good news is that if you do not cave in to them they will pass, yes the will happen again but the time between cycles will increase and the strength of the withdrawls will lessen over time until they cease to bother you, I am not saying that you will not think of him YOU WILL but it will be brief and with out much if any emotion attached.

Hang in there as they say "this to will pass"

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:33pm

Thanks Free,

I've been telling myself that. I just needed to hear it from someone else this time!

Owl