Thursday's Grey's Anatomy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Thursday's Grey's Anatomy
8
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 7:15am

Was anyone else affected by the scene between Owen and Christina the way I was? I noticed that New_Season mentioned it in a post to JAP, so I thought I would expound upon it here for discussion.

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 9:42am

I don't watch Grey's, but I was moved by your description of the scene.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 10:51am

Hi,


Haven't been here for awhile and I'm so very glad for that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 2:15pm

He took something from me. He took pieces of me and it has taken me this long to put them back together. He made me lie for him, do things that I would have never done, become a person I did not know anymore. I will never let someone do that to me again."

My exAP, did this to me. I did not see the episode but had I, I would have been touched. Although I did not know I was in affair for most of my relationship. It was still toxic, I was so love starved, so lonely, I thought here he is, MY PRINCE CHARMING is finally here, my soul mate, BLAH BLAH...he lied so naturally....and after a while I knew that. And I still succumbed to the I Love you's and I want to be with you. I let myself get reduced. At the very end, once I knew, he was over my house one day, and he declared he had to call his wife....I looked at him like he was straight crazy. He said he had to or he would need to leave....I let him. I gave him his privacy and let him call her. He said it was to talk to the kids...but that was a lie, it was so he could check in and she would think he was not with the dummy who let herself wind up P my a mm. He was almost relieved that I knew he was married. He did not have to lie as much and then thought it was ok, to throw in my face. I was so hormonal and hurt and angry and in love (so I thought). I really entertained his lies for a minute. He lied so badly. He even denied his daughter-a newborn, looked at me straightfaced, without a stumble or flinch. Ashamed to have ever let him touch me. Disgusted by the very thought.

I do not need a prince charming, I am my own prince charming and am seeking healthy relationships to get back to the person I once knew, the person I was proud to be, He broke me down..slowly, surely, and fervently. By the time I knew what i knew I was attached. But I am proud, because I ended it and have never looked back....

My Exap took so many of pieces of me. I would look in the mirror and wonder what i had become, how I allowed myself to be reduced. He has move to new OW and his wife and I will pray for all of those women. I am not jealous nor do feel envy. I will pray they have the strength to see him for what he is, keep themselves physically protected, and not get caught up in ever so charming and deceitful web.

I hope to let these scars heal completely. I look at men differently and everytime a married one even looks at a second too long, a strong dislike for that person fills my head. I am working on my attitude and overall, am so much better and stress free, but the pain lingers. i have indifferent days, but the occasional twinge often knocks me out for a few, then i snap myself out of it...n get back on my journey.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 2:26pm

This was an excellent post iddy. You are a good CL for this board. I have lurked on this board for a year and your posts have really helped me. I ended my A about nine months ago. My DH had an A and I never told him I knew. I just shut down from him and began my own A. The way I felt sleeping with someone else was horrible. I am now trying to decide how to end my M. I think my DH is still having an A but I really don't care anymore. Me having an A made a bad M even worse. Having an A is marital suicide unless you get help, resolve your problems and work through the pain. I have a good friend who had an A and her DH threw her out. She is D and her XAP virtually left her and rebuilt his M with his W. My friend was a SAHM and her DH loved her so much. It has been about three years since she lost her DH and she told me that there hasn't been one day that she hasn't regretted loosing such a wonderful man who treated her like a queen. She also said that any man who encourages you to fool around on your DH is showing that he has no respect for you. Affairs are awful. Everyone involved gets hurt. No one should have to share their spouse unless they have agreed to have an open M.


My WH is a shell of a man who is using a single woman. Feeding her lies and his AP is hanging on to his every word. I read their emails where she confesses her undying love to my DH and he tells her that he is leaving me when the kids grow up. That is so far from the truth. He is using her and she is waisting her years on someone who is just stringing her along. I actually feel sorry for her when I read her emails and texts. He has no idea that I know about his lies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 2:52pm

Hi Logan......Hugs, honey.


I can feel the pain in all of your posts even though some of us are long out of our affairs. I guess we can all

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 9:42am
I am so glad you posted this. Yes, I watched that scene this weekend with my H. And tears streamed down my face. I later blogged about it. My xAP did take little pieces of me and I am slowly trying to rebuild myself. To see Christina's pain and hear her articulate it really hit home for me. Thanks for sharing it here for those who did not see it.
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 2:12pm

Iddy, this hit me like a ton of bricks.

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 2:19pm

I don't have cable so I watched the episode on TVSHACK.

OMgoddess ... I cried my eyes out. I felt like she did --- I gladly cut off pieces of myself to give to him, to compensate for what he was missing/lacking, needed & wanted. I smiled while I gave these pieces to him ... I anticipated every move, and then met him with these offerings. Before I knew it, I was gone. Tiny little pieces at a time amounted to a whole person eventually gone ... except the memory that someone used to be there. And that's when I stated fighting. Not to find the old pieces and put myself back together ... but to create new and stronger pieces.

When I think about what I did, what I lost, what I threw away -- what I asked him to do, him to lose & risk losing, and what he threw away ... it makes me feel sick.