Time for a Roll Call

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Time for a Roll Call
29
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 7:25am

Hello, Enders

There are several new faces around here so please use this thread to introduce yourself again, tell us a little bit about yourself, and how long you've been NC.

I would also appreciate our Tweeners, Super Tweeners, and Vets to chime in so our Newbies will know who you are.

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 5:19pm

Everyone here at EAS calls me CSN.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 5:28pm

Hi Everyone.

Thanks Iddy for the roll call, they usually wake me up.

Quick update..15mo extremely emotional and physical

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 8:25pm

I'm Bodhi and I'm a Super Tweener! I've been NC since June after spending 7.5 years of my life with xap. I started "Zensedays" - my way of putting some peace and zen out to everyone on Wednesdays. I'm a single mom of two teenagers and I'm self employed, so that doesn't leave to much time for me ;)

Finding eas was the best thing that ever happened to me. I've made some pretty amazing friends here - a bonus to the support in ending my A.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2010
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 10:22pm
Hi!

I am TU (: I had an 18 month extremely emotional and physical affair with a co-worker. I was married at the time, with small children. He is still married with children. We both had planned ddays - mine right from the start and his as I initiated NC take one.

To make it short, I went NC for the last time after he began waffling (almost 11 months ago - I thought it was only 10!) ... and I haven't looked back. He made ending things initially more difficult than it would have seemed to stay in the affair.

He fished via suicide ideation, made our work so intolerable that I quit and he would try to get messages to/from me via our closest friends. He told everyone in our circle of friends of the affair when he went looking for sympathy.

EAS was my saving grace. I quickly integrated the lessons shared here, and have applied them to their fullest extent.

I am vigilantly self-reflective about MY actions, MY choices and have been known to quickly redirect a poster's focus onto their own deceitful actions ... and believe everyone here needs therapy to successfully move beyond just ending the affair. Yes - I said "JUST" because ending an affair is only the beginning.

Okay, that's enough of me for now. I am so inspired by each newbie that crawls their way to this board. And here is a quote I received the other day that reminds me of the collective you:

"One of the greatest things about finally reaching the "top of the mountain," - gazing about at the magnificence of life through tears of joy, thoroughly understanding every inch of your climb and its many unexpected setbacks, and grasping the dazzling perfection of it all - is looking back down at those still climbing (no, not what you're thinking, there's more...), still struggling, still lost and confused, and realizing with absolute certainty that they, too, will reach the top, in just a whisper of time."

I will be a lifer on this board.

TU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 10:42pm

Hi, I am Alive, I am a single mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 10:46pm
I was involved in a 21 month EA/PA and went NC on November 22nd...yes, tomorrow will be 3 months. Xap had a DDay and his W knows me as our kids grew up together and we live in the same neighborhood. I'm so grateful to have made the break. Even though it was so very painful in the beginning weeks, there is now peace and freedom. I still have bad days and this week contains some pretty major triggers from 2 years ago, but I push through with the help of everyone here. I haven't been around much lately because of my new job, but I read as much as I can and try and still chime in. Thanks to all for such great support over these months. To the newest posters, hang in there, the overwhelming pain subsides and you will see a bright A free future ahead of you soon!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2009
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 12:13am

Hi Everyone

I'm a single mom with 2 pre-teen children. I had PA with XMM boss for 3 years. When I started I was M, however 3 months into the A

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 5:12am

Hi all

Im 'Im_getting_stronger' or Iggy for short.

MW with kids, had an 18mth A with a MM with kids. It was emotional, physical, all consuming, There were trips, gifts, talk of love- you name it. He ended it twice due to guilt and then I ended it in Sep. Failed NC a few times but was going well over Nov-Jan. He contacted me in Feb, to which I did not respond, but which sent me into a spin. I have struggled the last few weeks as I searched for him on dating sites, set up a fake profile and confirmed my worse suspicions - he was on a dating site for the whole time of our A.

I ended the A because I was sick of all the lies and guilt (mine) and the increasing distance he was putting between us. Rarely available unless sex was on offer, short platonic calls (if he had time) etc- we all know that story.

I like what one of the other posters wrote- I used sex to get friendship- and he used friendship to get sex. This is exactly the case in my A.

I am now turning all my energy inwards (I thought I was doing that previously but definately not enough). I am off to IC next week and Im very excited/nervous about it.

You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 6:26am
Hey all!
I'm Lolly - and I'm mom to three amazing teens (college/high school age) - I was involved in an EA/PA from my youth that was reconnected via FB. I initially ended 7 month ago, but it took a few tries for me to make it stick - so I became a tweener last month! I'm the facilitator of Gratituesdays on this board - which I solidly believe in. Like others before me have said, I believe T is essential to get through the stuff that arises AFTER ending. Because truly - that is the beginning. For me, I ended my A and my M at the same time and am very happy with my decision.

Along the way in this journey I have had to trim a lot of relationships that were toxic (much like an alcoholic or drug user) in order to create a healthy mindset for myself. It hasn't been easy - but completely worth it.

I am a lifer....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 6:51am

Hello All,

I am a 48 yo MW who was involved in an LDA with a MM

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.