Time for a Roll Call
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Time for a Roll Call
| Mon, 03-21-2011 - 7:03am |
The board has been real quiet and I hope that's a good thing. :smileywink: Also, a
| Mon, 03-21-2011 - 7:03am |
The board has been real quiet and I hope that's a good thing. :smileywink: Also, a
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7 weeks out of ending for me - had a bit of LC due to some work functions, but strictly professional.
I am so doing SO much better than the first few weeks.
Hi Iddy:
I'm here.
Hello, hello, hello!
I'm still around :) Just taking a "breather" to see what real life feels like these days. My A lasted 7.5 years and I've been free for almost 9 months now! I will be eternally grateful for eas. Life is a LOT easier when you give up trying to control it and stop living a hidden life. The universe has a plan for each of us - we're just along for the ride. I'm still healing. I know it's hard for newbies to understand this, but letting go of xap and the A is the "easy" part. Looking within and figuring out the "whys" is the challenge. But it's all worth it. YOU'RE worth it. :)
"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
Bodhi
Hi Gang,
Hi everyone! Been reading everyday, haven't been posting a great deal this time around...but listening. I am almost a month into NC this time around. I made it over 3 months NC last year, it has been an 8 year A...and I am struggling with real life. Things with H have been rocky this past week...I am scared, I am angry and I am just not sure if we will make it. There has never been a DDay, and I know that I need a LOT of work on ME before I can make things work here at home. We talk so much but change so little in our rections to each other and all that goes on around us. It isn't working and I feel so empty right now... just struggling. Thanks Iddy. Hope everyone continues this journey to peace and happiness.
Healing
Hi Everyone-
I'm facing a lot of "anniversary events" over the next month, along with three more work trips to the city where he lives. (In retrospect, it must have been so convenient for him to have me staying in a five star hotel right beside his work for three days each fortnight - no cost, no hassle, little risk of interfering with his RL) NC doesn't come naturally yet - its still a deliberate decision that I have to make and remake each day - but EAS gives me the courage to know that I'm doing the right thing for myself and my family.
XAP continues to fish occasionally - first the guilt trip (how could you do this after everything we shared?), then the abuse (your cold and unpleasant personality has finally been revealed), and now the sugar-coated sweetness (I'll be in your neighbourhood this week and would like to return one of your books that I enjoyed). Each time he calls from a new number or uses a new email to get through to me, I simply take a big breath, press hang up or delete, and add another brick to the wall that preserves my space of safety and healing.
At home, my M has wonderful days where we laugh and connect and delight in each other's company. And hard days where the simple act of responding to an email or working away from home sends my H into a spiral of doubt and suspicion. But the good days are slowly outnumbering the bad, and our love is strong enough that I know we will survive.
EAS has been my lifeline for the last two months. To Iddy and all the vets and tweeners especially - thank you for all the good that you do, and for the serenity and strength you bring to people's lives.
Smiles and sunshine
Kat.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
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