today

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
today
3
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 2:45pm

Hope you don't mind my continued rambling. Still angry not quite as much a yesterday but i really wanted to climb back into bed and pull up the covers after the kids left, i didn't i stayed up watched a little TV and then baked some healthy cookies for me (carb free) then i worked out again today.
His wife is such a pita but i just keep giving her excuses. I've decided that I'm going to get creative about avoiding the up coming functions at the volunteer place we have in common, my h is the actual member so most of my being there is as his wife just a small corner I'm involved in. There are a few holiday things coming, one i can make sure I'm working during and another i can just say I'm sick which will take us to the end of Feb before i have to deal with anything. I did say i would black Friday shop with her that i need to get out of but worst case i just won't shop at all that day.
I just wish i would want the intimacy back with my h, we haven't done the deed in at least two months he's making it known that he wants to and i can't even entertain the thought yet. I've been pushing h away in that aspect for a long time and was fairly alot with ap i can't just switch my emotions back that easy and i don't want to right now. Today is our anniversary though so idk what to do, i can't fake that right now.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: lookingforhappy
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 3:14pm

Ramble away :)

Happy Anniversary!  I figure it's going to take some time and work to get back on the intimacy track.

I see you have a whole avoidance scheduled line up.  Sorry about Black Friday...perhaps you can shop in the next town...state...continent over?

What are you about...or who are you angry with?

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
In reply to: lookingforhappy
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 10:04pm
I guess I'm angry with him, maybe i should be angry with me.
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 10:43pm

Well, that's usually where we end up...being angry at ourselves...when we really think about enough.  I mean, we teach people how to treat us.  When we behave in a manner that displays a lack of self-love and self worth and a total disregard for others, which we do when engaged in an affair, people follow our lead.  And there are plenty of people willing and able to exploit that weakness in us.  Can't blame them for doing so really.  But when we get ourselves healthy, we no longer attract such people in our lives.

That one's big lesson we've all had to learn.

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board