Today is 90 days

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Today is 90 days
17
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:10am

I have had this date marked on my calendar since I joined this message board. I have been so ready to celebrate my 90th day of NC. I am so proud of myself for finally seeing the light and getting out of the A fog. I had two Ddays from xMM's wife and lived through all the emotional pain I caused myself, my family and xMM's family....I should be jumping up and down.

Instead I am sitting at a pity party, table for one. My emotions are all over the place, but I will get them under control.

xMM comes back to work next week which I just found out about last night. He starts back on Tuesday.

I have been soooooo busy this summer focused on my H, my family and helping a friend launch a new business. I have be so busy to the point of exhaustion but I kept going. I felt I was getting stronger every day and thought less and less of xMM. Now it seems my emotions have taken several steps backwards. My stomach is in knots and my body feels like jello.

But, I can't worry a WEEK IN ADVANCE. I have to live in the moment and focus on what is in front of me...my life, my H and my family.

I have been looking for other jobs and had two interviews this summer. I was runner-up for both jobs, but I am still looking and very much determined to leave the job that forces me to see xMM.

I made it to 90 days. I didn't falter. I set a goal and I accomplished it. For that I am pleased!

MovingON

MovingON

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:48am
Well you did do it, M50. I couldn't imagine having to work with my exAP, I was lucky mine was across the state. When you do see your ex, just remember he is just a regular Joe;). You are right, it is one day at a time. We are here for you when he does come back and you need to vent. Yes you should be pleased.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:53am

Moving,
Congratulations on Tweenerdom; you SHOULD be jumping up and down! It's ok that you're feeling waves of emotions... it's not like one gets to tweenerville and all the ickiness magically fades away. However, making it to that 3 month mark is HUGE and it means that you've gotten through the worst of it. You're sooooo much stronger than you were before; you're going to have challenges ahead (bummer about X coming back to work), but you're armed with skills now that you didn't have before and you're going to be just fine. Revel in this victory and be proud of what you've accomplished. I am!

big hugs and mad props,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:53am

Moving on - you are moving on!!

Amazing. 90 days. Did you ever think it was possible?

You're not the same person that you were 90 days ago. You are now a woman who is building dignity, courage and strength. You have insights into yourself and your affair.

Yes - you'll see him, but he won't look the same. I laughed at the site of my xAP after a while. I could see him as clear as day. I could see this pathetic, sad, and hurting man who I could no longer rescue from the misery he was creating in his life.

Switch your glasses, and you'll have different vision.

Here's to the next 90!

Much Love,

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:54am

Woo-Hoo! Another Tweener has arrived. I am so proud of you MO, and you know what? Having a busy summer is just what the doctor would have ordered. It's kept your mind in places it needed to be, allowing your heart to do some serious healing. So with that said, here are your wings and wear them proudly. You've earned them, sweetie.


   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 8:58am
That helps...thanks, that when I see him perhaps he won't look the same to me. I hope I will be saying to myself, 'wtf' was I thinking!! I risked everything for him?

MovingON

MovingON

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:03am

Thanks Iddy, I love the WINGS!

I will print them off and wear them under my vest at work next week. I work at an airport so WINGS are definitely appropriate!!!!

And yes, I was so flippin busy this summer pushing myself to heal, pushing myself where my H and family was concerned. It definitely helped to keep me on the road to healing.

Thank you for your wonderful CL support! Iddy you ROCK!

MovingON

MovingON

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:18am

Great idea to print and wear your wings! Congrats MO. I'm so happy for you.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:39am

Welcome, welcome welcome! And congrats. We've been waiting for you. I can't wait to see how much you grow on this next leg of the race.


Hugs,


Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 9:44am

MO,


Congrats, I have been looking forward to the arrival of another resident. I love a reason to kick off the high heels and join the party on the dance floor. Well, that and the 90 day mark is a turning point where you have made it through the worst.


I know next week might be hard, and thats OK. Best thing for you to do is to put your game face on. Even if you dont feel it on the inside, carry yourself strong on the outside. XAP doesnt need to know you are in knots because he's back, try to look like you barely even noticed. And like TU said, change the glasses, see him for who he is, not who you thought he was. It certainly helps when there is no fog to blur that vision.


Welcome MO, you will love it here. There will still be hurdles here but they are a lot easier to jump over than they were in Newbie Town.


GMLB

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 10:08am

Well done MO


i am proud of you...when i first came to the boards aftermy final dday, your story, along with one other resonated most with me.. and for the first couple of weeks, i clung to your story and your

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

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