Today is an OK day......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Today is an OK day......
4
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:09am

Today is going pretty well, I didn't wake and get all upset because XMM didsn't email me, I was't expecting it, I was maybe wishing he did but all in all I wasn't expecting it, so that is a big plus for me. Last night I made love to H, it was good, ok don't want to give to much details and gross you all out, but it's hard not to compare thing, I mean I don't expect it to be like it was with XMM but is it ok to wish it was? Also when my dh kissed me I was kind of grossed out by it all, I mean XMM was a WONDERFUL kisser, we kissed all the time and well now i don't want dh to kiss me, will that ever go away. I wish I have NEVER met XMM, because than I wouldn't feel all the things I feel now, it's not fair to my dh to be compared to someone. Anyways, I'm working hard on my M I have to it's not worth given up. However my dh and I don't talk well together, in the end it's just a terrible arguement and it gets no wehre, there are things I want to tell dh but I know if I bring them up it will just be a mess, do you think it's ok to write him a letter and express it in there, or is that childish? I don't know!!

But anyways, i'm hoping today stays this way, i'm not on top of the world but i'm not crawled in bed crying :)

M~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2005
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:22am

Hi M, today is a good day for me too. I don't even check my phone for IM any more. It feels pretty good. Usually I watch to see which way the wife drives from to see if she was back home or at her place. I don't do that anymore b/c I know it is not good for me. So today is good.
I hope you have a wonderful day. Remember every time you don't check despite the urge, you win over this thing that has consumed us. Enjoy your day however that may be.
LilRocket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 1:31pm
Lil Rocket, here is hoping your day contiues to be good. We can all make it through this it might be tough but it will make us tougher!!!
~M
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 12:32pm
Trust me it gets better. It gets better with your H too. I am about 3 months out of the affair and I am putting all that effort back in my M-it is hard sometimes and I miss the OM so much sometimes but I know I am better off. No more lies, no more dissapointments, and no more feeling guilty. You will feel so much better, just keep it up! I know where you are and how you feel. I am taking it day by day and sometimes have to fight the urge to call him or email him. I just now pick up the phone and call my H and make his day. Hang in there-it gets SO much easier and better!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 12:36pm
I can say that today is a good day, I feel SO GOOD. No more lies, NO MORE, that to me is the best. I can look myself in the mirror and like who I see....I miss XMM but I'm doing great!!! I just pray I don't see him.....he he!! Today is GOOD!!!
m~