Told My Husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2010
Told My Husband
8
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 10:26am

Hi Everyone-
I've been a lurker on this site for a couple months now. My marriage was suffering, and I've been having an A with a man much older than me, my landlord, for a couple months now. I never thought I would do something like this. It's been tearing me up and I decided to tell my husband. (I know- am I suicidal or something?)
I am too upset to write very much right now, but I am just looking for some help. I feel like my world is crashing down and wonder if I will ever smile again. My husband is being pretty loving, considering, and is sending me and my daughter home to the east coast while he moves out of the house. My AP is going to lose his fiance, her children who he has raised for 10 years, his job (because he works with his fiance), and his house. AP was always physically aggressive with me, and I am afraid of his reaction.

If anyone has advice, thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 11:20am

Good Morning...


You told him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2010
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 11:25am
I'm sorry- I was not clear. I am NEVER talking to my AP again. Will I miss him and go through withdrawal, yes, I think so. But I will not risk contact. I love my husband and respect him (though my actions would say otherwise) and I want my marriage to work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 11:43am

I owe you an apology then....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2010
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 11:53am

Thank you lynn0708. My H has made enough mistakes of his own to know how imperfect people are. He has already decided to give me a second chance, for which I am grateful. H knows that I love him and want to work on our M. I've told him it's over, but the words don't mean much to him right now. He is working on how to make sure that I never have the chance to see AP again, by moving out of the house, putting me on the other side of the country, and possibly getting a restraining order on AP.

I just don't know how to deal with all the damage. I feel frozen with fear and regret.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 12:25pm

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlhealingaft


Here's another site "Life after Betrayal" you might want to check out for some more feedback.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 1:45pm

Hi Truth,


I like your screen name. You are going to need that to rebuild your M. I also had a D-day (discovery day when spouse finds out about the A).

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2010
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 12:05am
Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement. I have called to set up IC. Tomorrow will start day 3 of honesty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2009
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 5:43pm

Truthful,


You've gotten lots of good advice here.