Tonight was hard
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Tonight was hard
| Sun, 08-08-2010 - 2:49am |
Tonight was hard and I missed him....went out with some girlfriends, heard our "songs" and felt ill Would normally be sending him a message letting him know how my Saturday night was, and won't be doing that....posting here a minute instead. I don't drink and tonight I am very thankful because if I did, they would probably have been picking my crying *** off the floor. No drinks, no tears, no contact.

I think the key words that you used, are:
......reality check, if he was as great as I make him out to be in my head he would not have been......
If we could only keep that in our minds........ALL the time.
Hang in there..........
We only miss what could have been.
We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.
Congratulations on getting through a hard night without breaking NC. Those low points are real killers, and the fact that you took care of yourself, didn't drink, and came and posted to EAS are all signs that you're a strong woman who is moving forward.
You're reality check is right on the money, and it still amazes me how much fantasy we can create out of so little material. My xAP, also single, is 50 and has never had a relationship that lasted more than 3 years. Furthermore, many of them have been with MW!
I've continued to customize Bodhi's fantasy vs. reality post (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending/?msg=29211.1)