toosmart4this

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
toosmart4this
4
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:17am
toosmart4this

Maybe it's time to take another run at it, it's not so much like quiting smoking if you don't make it the first time keep quiting and you will make it eventually.

It's nice to have clear lungs and a clear head and heart.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: mefreenow
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:07am
Free: I posted that reply to Dipps, got up from the computer and burst into tears. I just hate it that my happiness is dependent upon this man. I live for the phone calls, e-mails and compliments but they are never enough and never will be. I know that my H. is a far better person for me than OM could ever be and yet I still find myself chasing after some romantic fantasy that is never going to happen. I know this relationship is destructive and threatening everything that is really meaningful in my life, but I can't seem to stop. I don't want to go into IC; I did for years and got nothing out of it. How do I get myself to do what I know has to be done? I've been trying to end this for over 12 years-it's been my New Year's resolution every single year since it started and I've failed to even maintain NC for more than a few weeks at a time. Maybe this is self-indulgent, but at this point, it feels like the only way I'll ever get out is if one of us dies or moves far away. You're so tough and strong-I'm so weak and needy. How do I do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: mefreenow
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 1:04pm
Well I have had a crazy busy couple of days at work and have not had much time to respond to people...but your reply to free pulled at my heart strings....first of all, my gosh I hope that my disgruntled thread did not add to your pain...if so I truly apologize. Thats why when I get really miserable I typically try to avoid posting too much not to bring other people down...so if did that to you...sorry....

Running out to a big meeting but wanted to send you a note to say that you are most certainly "toosmart4this"...you are just trying to figure your way out of this mess that we got ourselves into. I do believe there is hope. I do beleive if this is the board we frequent this is what we really want to do. Sometimes we are torn by emotion and well quite honestly sheer stupidity. Here is a fact, or at least for me...if my H found about this, I know that would bring this to a screeching halt cuz', at the end of the day, he is the right man for me. Just fighting the demon Dipss. Damn her.

Ok...dont be discouraged...just try again...eventually it will happen...you will wake up and feel so much better...it just has to...rambling...not making much sense cuz' now I am late :)...but wanted to give you a big hugs and a nice soft tissue to wipe away your tears!

xoxoxo!

Dipss

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
In reply to: mefreenow
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 3:45pm
TOO

You are already on the road out of this mess once and for all, I have said to people before that you will end it when your ready and I believe that you are close to that point now and mybe already there, I can feel it in your word.

The pain your in is what will make the difference, it is the pain that throws the switch in your heart from needing what your getting from the affair to needing to get away from it, think of it as a balance scale once it tips to the pain side being heavier then what you are getting from the affair the affair is OVER and there is nothing that XOM can do about it.

Too believe your there, I suggest that you lookup trues history I remember when she was on the brink herself it was not that long ago, you sound just like she did.

Stay plugged into your support system which is the people at this board, it does not matter if you mess up stay anyway, read and talk to us we want to help you.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: mefreenow
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 7:04pm
Hey Dipps. Your thread did not add to my pain at all, it comes from staying in this situation which is so emotionally damaging. I haven't been on the board lately, I felt I didn't have the right to visit if I was actively involved in my A. But if I can be of any value to anyone, it's as a warning not to go backwards. If you've moved at all forward, STAY THERE. Thanks for the kind thoughts-I'm getting ready to try again.

Free-I got so excited when you said you think I'm close to being ready. I think I am too and it's scary and liberating at the same time. Thanks as always, for the support. Your advice is so valuable to everyone on the board.