The Top 10 Reason's I'm Glad it's OVER!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
The Top 10 Reason's I'm Glad it's OVER!
33
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 10:25am
Hey Everybody!

Well, it's been a great week. No contact at all, and I really feel good about it. As I was pulling into work this morning, I saw him walking in the building. I haven't seen him at all since my last slip-up 3 weeks ago, and haven't heard from him since he emailed me a brief "hello" last Monday. I never told him it was over- I just stopped contacting him and responded to his emails with very short, polite responses. The last he knows of anything is that we promised to be better friends to each other regardless of any messing around. He did email more frequently after that, but I guess he got the picture because I stopped emailing him, changed my IM name, and only responded to work related emails or a quick "yes, I had a great weekend with H" type answers because I haven't heard a peep all week. It's much easier this way and I have been very strong all week, but I did get a little shaken when I saw him this morning. If he saw me, he didn't acknowledge it. He almost had to have seen me. I still feel a little in limbo since I never told him in was over, but in my heart I know it is. SO....instead of obsessing like I used to or questioning and rehashing little details (how was my hair???LOL!) I am trying to use this energy in a positive way. I'm posting to you guys and getting it out of my system so I won't dwell. So here goes...

I AM SO GLAD IT'S OVER WITH HIM BECAUSE....

1. I no longer have to make sure my legs are perfectly shaved before work every day...just in case!

2. I don't have to worry about wearing cute panties and a matching bra to work every day...just in case! (I can save those for being home with my husband!)

3. I don't obsess over why I haven't heard from him. I might wonder occasionally, but it's fleeting and I feel stronger NOT having heard from him!

4. When I kiss my husband goodbye in the morning, I can feel good about it. I can look him in the eye and know that I won't be doing anything to hurt him when I leave for the day.

5. I can focus on improving my marriage and work towards things I truly desire in my life.

6. I can enjoy family and friends completely when we're together...I'm finally present and not wondering about HIM! I give the people who really love me the attention they deserve.

7. That nervous, anxious feeling I got every morning wondering how the day would play out is GONE!

8. That guilty, sick feeling I got every night when I lay down next to my husband after I'd been with xOM that day is GONE!

9. The biggest barrier to the happy marriage I wanted was removed...and I now know that I had the power to get rid of it all along.

10. I can finally look myself in the mirror and know who I am again.

Feel free to add yours to the list!!!

Have a great weekend everybody!





Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Here goes:

1) I no longer have to figure out some lie as to where I've been and what I've been doing

2) I no longer have to pay for and hide another cell phone in order to talk to him.

3) I no longer have to look over my shoulder to make sure there's no one around I know.

4) I no longer have to feel hurt or disappointed that he didn't call, couldn't call, didn't show, couldn't show.

5) I no longer have to feel guilt about his W, let alone my H.

6) I no longer have to lie to friends, family, pretty much everyone about my activities.

7) I no longer have to wonder what's goinig to happen between us. It's happened, HOORAY!!!

8) I have time to do some of the things I put off doing, hoping that I'd see him.

9) I, too, can look myself in the mirror without feeling self-loathing for being a lying, cheating, scoundrel.

10) I am living up to the values that I have always had, but ignored in order to fulfill some selfish, sexual fantasy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Thanks, Dipss!

I needed that. I'm sitting here at work hitting "refresh" like a psycho hoping to get a response! Dipss to the rescue! If he wanted a reaction, he got one. He doesn't know that, thank God, but whoa! His touch still does something to me, even though both my head and my heart are glad it's over. He even kidded me about wearing a company shirt today...now I wish I had said "the better to keep you off me, my dear!"

XOXO, Dipss!

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Thank you, Maiden!

I love that quote! The elves are very wise! ;) I'm going to read it again and again!

Hugs!

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
ok this has nothing to do with anything about A's or anything like that...I just thought it was funny so I am sending it to you so you can have a little chuckle. true story. trying to lighten up the mood! :)

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous

staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week.

When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of

having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was

to have a quick contest.

The theme was Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was that they

had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products

that captured the essence of Viagra Slight variations were

acceptable.

About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a

Top Ten List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the

week went very well for everyone




The top ten:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.

8. Viagra, Like a rock!

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, Tastes great! More Filling!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your p-nis. This is your p-nis on drugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
"7) I no longer have to wonder what's goinig to happen between us. It's happened, HOORAY!!! "

Silly! That is a GREAT on! I spent so much time wondering and obsessing over what was going to happen with him. It was agony! Will he email me? Will he start things up again? Will anything happen with us today? Will I even see him? What's he thinking? Etc. I had a whole little soap opera playing out in my head...I practically made us into Ross and Rachel in my mind! LOL!

Anyway, you have such a good point there, Silly! It's happened! I know the ending! And you know what? It's really not a bad one at all. I still have my husband and things are getting better with him. I don't need xOM anymore, no one ever found out (except the few friends I confided in) and we kept our jobs. So xOM and I will never be "best friends". Right now I need to realize that civility at work and a marriage that is getting better and, most importantly, intact, is the best outcome that could have come from this mess.

Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
LOL, Dipss!

DEFINITELY lightened my mood!

:) LMAO!
Love,

Lily
Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
dipss -

"you can just pick your nose in front of him and I am sure that will get him to walk away. tee hee. that was gross. sorry i couldnt resist. i amuse myself sometimes."

This made me crack up!!!

Thanks!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wow Lily...I don't know what I'd do if I worked with my exMM. I feel "lucky" that we don't, and that we don't even move in the same circles. I MIGHT see him someday, at a sporting event we are both fond of, but while its possible, it would only be for a second or two anyway. If I had to see him even on a weekly basis, I'd be nowhere near as far along in my healing. So good for you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Lily, Dipss & everyone--

I just posted my emotional catastrophe a few minutes ago, then read this thread. Dipss--I needed that joke at this moment -- LOL!! And Lilyann--thanks for starting that list! It really helped me settle down a bit. I, too, was literally shaking today after the first call from XMM today. I wasn't ready for it (but probably never would have been REALLY ready for it).

Loved the list -- from all of you -- I am going to cut and paste it into my journal :-)

Meg

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004

One more to add...


I can wake up on a beautiful Saturday morning and focus on having the whole weekend to do anything that makes me happy and spend some great time with my husband...not instantly wonder what HE is doing and if his GF is doing it with him, and will something change over the weekend, and will he email on Monday? Nope!

Love, Lily PG with #1 EDD 11/23 baby