The Top 10 Reason's I'm Glad it's OVER!
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| Fri, 10-15-2004 - 10:25am |
Well, it's been a great week. No contact at all, and I really feel good about it. As I was pulling into work this morning, I saw him walking in the building. I haven't seen him at all since my last slip-up 3 weeks ago, and haven't heard from him since he emailed me a brief "hello" last Monday. I never told him it was over- I just stopped contacting him and responded to his emails with very short, polite responses. The last he knows of anything is that we promised to be better friends to each other regardless of any messing around. He did email more frequently after that, but I guess he got the picture because I stopped emailing him, changed my IM name, and only responded to work related emails or a quick "yes, I had a great weekend with H" type answers because I haven't heard a peep all week. It's much easier this way and I have been very strong all week, but I did get a little shaken when I saw him this morning. If he saw me, he didn't acknowledge it. He almost had to have seen me. I still feel a little in limbo since I never told him in was over, but in my heart I know it is. SO....instead of obsessing like I used to or questioning and rehashing little details (how was my hair???LOL!) I am trying to use this energy in a positive way. I'm posting to you guys and getting it out of my system so I won't dwell. So here goes...
I AM SO GLAD IT'S OVER WITH HIM BECAUSE....
1. I no longer have to make sure my legs are perfectly shaved before work every day...just in case!
2. I don't have to worry about wearing cute panties and a matching bra to work every day...just in case! (I can save those for being home with my husband!)
3. I don't obsess over why I haven't heard from him. I might wonder occasionally, but it's fleeting and I feel stronger NOT having heard from him!
4. When I kiss my husband goodbye in the morning, I can feel good about it. I can look him in the eye and know that I won't be doing anything to hurt him when I leave for the day.
5. I can focus on improving my marriage and work towards things I truly desire in my life.
6. I can enjoy family and friends completely when we're together...I'm finally present and not wondering about HIM! I give the people who really love me the attention they deserve.
7. That nervous, anxious feeling I got every morning wondering how the day would play out is GONE!
8. That guilty, sick feeling I got every night when I lay down next to my husband after I'd been with xOM that day is GONE!
9. The biggest barrier to the happy marriage I wanted was removed...and I now know that I had the power to get rid of it all along.
10. I can finally look myself in the mirror and know who I am again.
Feel free to add yours to the list!!!
Have a great weekend everybody!
Lily


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I didn't realize til recently, after almost 2 months since exMM left, how much time and energy I had devoted to HIM...making him happy...buying him things b/c he "said" he was too poor...worrying about our future...putting aside my own concerns about the relationship b/c I wanted to make it work...worrying about whether he'd leave his W or not...no wonder I was so depressed!
I do still think of him a lot. But its night and day compared to where I was when he first left.
Time is also granted me the ability to see what a nightmare situation I was saved from...even though he did the leaving...he did me a tremendous favor. I didn't feel that way at the time, but now, I KNOW I dodged a bullet. And I thank God for that every day.
Thank you for your words of wisdom, I was just getting ready to post how SAD I feel right now and your posting caught my attention. I am soooo glad I read this because it helps me remember what is truly the important things in my life again. REBUILDING MYSELF AND REGAINING EVERYTHING I WAS LOOSING MOST IMPORTANT MY FAMILY.....
#5 Is so true, this affair became an obstacle for me to finish my studies, I flunked a couple of my courses because my thoughts where so into him that I had no desire of anything else, not to mention my marriage what harm I did to it without my hubby even knowing and just trying to understand what was happening to me. I AM SO GLAD ITS OVER.
5 WEEKS OF AN ENDED AFFAIR AND I AM FEELING A LITTLE LIKE MYSELF AGAIN. I am working on my marriage very hard again, because I also realized who was the true love in my life.
Thank You Lily
Ladybug
Karryn
Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige
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