Dee will come in here and handle her own response to you.
I just want to say that you too are responsible for W's pain. Just because he made advances to you does not mean you had to agree to oblige. It is not a one way street. It takes two to tango...
Her feeling are not misplaced. She has every right to be upset with you. Please put yourself in her shoes. Hard for you now. I know. I used to think like you and I did not even know my MM was M until 5 months into the relationship. I stayed after I knew and I justified it by saying just what you did. He pursued me..yada...yada....I hurt her! I hurt her tremendously. And if I could turn back time, I would have went NC the very second I knew he was M. He would be with me and she would be calling non-stop. All thru the night. How dare I? I am/was responsible and she had every right to say whatever she wants to or about me. That is HER H, regardless of what he did/does. You could have rejected him and you did not, therefore, you are just as responsible for her pain.
I hope you realize this as you continue NC. I am not going to get in a debate about it. I really can not see how you even think the way you do...It may the fog? Either way, I wish you the best in healing from your A.
Yep...No point now is my thinking. I wish I could fast forward about 3 people on this thread. Funny, cuz we are starting to look like we are the Nazi's during WW2. When we simply BTDT. Some people just have take the scenic route.
Thanks for stepping in and posting these links with a reminder that *we* do not belong on the BS board EVER. I made that mistake once many years ago and got reamed a new one. ;-)
We had some major storms pass through here since 2:00 this afternoon and I shut down my computer each time one rolled through. Looks like I missed another
I been replying to your posts since the first day you posted and I have been here a long time. I do not know if you exAp should be damned to hell. I know mine should. I also do not think this is the mantra of the board.
Sure they miss us. Sure, some may even cared about us and us them...or they thought they did, as did we. But did they leave there wives for you? Did they move heaven and earth for you...I am a D attorney. People get divorces everyday. If someone TRULY loves you and wants to be with you they will. People with kids get divorces all the time. Most D's involve kids. So the kids excuse is a fallacy. They are not going to be with you...I have never heard of one A success story, not a one! And even if they get a D, they are so happy to be S, you still get left behind.
So why send you an email? Why not care about you enough to let you be and either be with your H or if you are S to find someone you can call yours? What good does it do to tell you that you are missed? how does that make anything any better? Does it matter?
Even if they miss ya? So what? Whats going to change? Because nothing will likely change, it is usually self serving. Why not let you be so that you can move on?
They are threads that answer you ladies questions...I am going to have to search for them. Problem is I am no good at searching and I can not remember the name of the thread.
E-1? Iddy? Clarity? I will search in the meantime. I will post if I find anything.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Whoa is thread is all over the place. To address Alice, someone else already said it, but I will reiterate: 1- You have a choice. You can either read or not read his messages, and I think you know that you can't anymore. 2- You have a choice. You have a choice how anyone on this earth affects you... or not. Don't let him. I know that is easier said than done, but if you start practicing, you will get there.
I am sorry you are dealing with his fishing attempts. In the early days of NC, I used to pray for a fishing attempt- something to tell me that he still cares, still thinks of me... but now, almost 6 months out, I thank my lucky stars that I never received one. It has allowed me to heal. I hope it has allowed him to feel. Because yes, we may have had deep feelings for each other, but it doesn't matter now. Neither of us were willing to leave our M's for it- and thank God for that.
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Talk to me about it in six months.
Dee
Thank you for your mature
Dee will come in here and handle her own response to you.
I just want to say that you too are responsible for W's pain. Just because he made advances to you does not mean you had to agree to oblige. It is not a one way street. It takes two to tango...
Her feeling are not misplaced. She has every right to be upset with you. Please put yourself in her shoes. Hard for you now. I know. I used to think like you and I did not even know my MM was M until 5 months into the relationship. I stayed after I knew and I justified it by saying just what you did. He pursued me..yada...yada....I hurt her! I hurt her tremendously. And if I could turn back time, I would have went NC the very second I knew he was M. He would be with me and she would be calling non-stop. All thru the night. How dare I? I am/was responsible and she had every right to say whatever she wants to or about me. That is HER H, regardless of what he did/does. You could have rejected him and you did not, therefore, you are just as responsible for her pain.
I hope you realize this as you continue NC. I am not going to get in a debate about it. I really can not see how you even think the way you do...It may the fog? Either way, I wish you the best in healing from your A.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Justkim,
Thanks for stepping in and posting these links with a reminder that *we* do not belong on the BS board EVER. I made that mistake once many years ago and got reamed a new one. ;-)
We had some major storms pass through here since 2:00 this afternoon and I shut down my computer each time one rolled through. Looks like I missed another
~Iddy~
FL,
I been replying to your posts since the first day you posted and I have been here a long time. I do not know if you exAp should be damned to hell. I know mine should. I also do not think this is the mantra of the board.
Sure they miss us. Sure, some may even cared about us and us them...or they thought they did, as did we. But did they leave there wives for you? Did they move heaven and earth for you...I am a D attorney. People get divorces everyday. If someone TRULY loves you and wants to be with you they will. People with kids get divorces all the time. Most D's involve kids. So the kids excuse is a fallacy. They are not going to be with you...I have never heard of one A success story, not a one! And even if they get a D, they are so happy to be S, you still get left behind.
So why send you an email? Why not care about you enough to let you be and either be with your H or if you are S to find someone you can call yours? What good does it do to tell you that you are missed? how does that make anything any better? Does it matter?
Even if they miss ya? So what? Whats going to change? Because nothing will likely change, it is usually self serving. Why not let you be so that you can move on?
They are threads that answer you ladies questions...I am going to have to search for them. Problem is I am no good at searching and I can not remember the name of the thread.
E-1? Iddy? Clarity? I will search in the meantime. I will post if I find anything.
Good weekend to all.
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Hi Feelin,
You’ve raised some good questions and similar ones have been raised on the board before. Here are some threads with detailed answers.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending/?msg=27337.1
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&msg=27352.1&x=y
Much love and big hugs,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
"I fantasize about being her friend to HELP her! "
You cannot help a woman who's husband you have slept with. would you want to be helped by a woman who slept with your H?
Edited cause I am having a PMS day. :|
Edited 7/24/2010 12:46 am ET by blue_belle44
Whoa is thread is all over the place. To address Alice, someone else already said it, but I will reiterate: 1- You have a choice. You can either read or not read his messages, and I think you know that you can't anymore. 2- You have a choice. You have a choice how anyone on this earth affects you... or not. Don't let him. I know that is easier said than done, but if you start practicing, you will get there.
I am sorry you are dealing with his fishing attempts. In the early days of NC, I used to pray for a fishing attempt- something to tell me that he still cares, still thinks of me... but now, almost 6 months out, I thank my lucky stars that I never received one. It has allowed me to heal. I hope it has allowed him to feel. Because yes, we may have had deep feelings for each other, but it doesn't matter now. Neither of us were willing to leave our M's for it- and thank God for that.
Good Luck to you, always.
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
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