All I can say is YEP! Yep and Yep! Well said Dee. Me 3, except my MM is/was a monster...not all are
Being a D lawyer for years I have learned how rare M or W leave M's for AP's. I have seen people to get D but rarely, very rarely, do they wind up with AP in heavenly bliss.
I even have personal experience. My mom is still in a A. She's been the OW for over 20 years. He lives with/off her n she is still miserable! She doesn't trust him at all. They fight constantly n are in a constant state of dysfunction. Everytime he leaves the house she drives by his "wife's" house. He is still married to her n lives with my mom...ugh yeah. That's a real good R. Yeah right..
On MAS and the other board...I have yet to see a man leave a W n see some success story with OW. I guess they are out there...but rare, very rare. I am talking a signed court order voiding a marriage...not seen a one and def not seen a success story after the fact.
All my clients who get D'ed do not want a serious relationship..they want to have fun n enjoy their freedom...the behave like college students in a mid life crisis
Sunshine, This is not the place to apologize for awkwardness in expressing ourselves. don't be self-deprecating! You're doing fine and HERE is where we take all those jumbled up and confusing emotions and barf them up. Puke away!
Yes, stick to your truth - but, keep an open mind that your 'truth' will morph as your perspective changes. Just stay open. Personally, I had to face that I did, indeed, LIE to get laid - more specifically, to maintain the A so I could get my fix. I think you will find that lying and half-truths are the language of an A, on both sides. We lie, at least, to ourselves -- and that is the deepest betrayal of all.
Maintain an empathetic and gracious attitude towards your X, if that is what serves you best... just promise me that you will put your healing and progress above him and all else, ok? When we're striving towards bettering ourselves, it's not selfish to come first. We cannot be good to anyone else if we're not first good for our selves.
I'm really looking forward to seeing your journey - you remind me of me! I just hope you are wiser and less obstinate and avoid the shiz I put myself through.
Pages
All I can say is YEP! Yep and Yep! Well said Dee. Me 3, except my MM is/was a monster...not all are
Being a D lawyer for years I have learned how rare M or W leave M's for AP's. I have seen people to get D but rarely, very rarely, do they wind up with AP in heavenly bliss.
I even have personal experience. My mom is still in a A. She's been the OW for over 20 years. He lives with/off her n she is still miserable! She doesn't trust him at all. They fight constantly n are in a constant state of dysfunction. Everytime he leaves the house she drives by his "wife's" house. He is still married to her n lives with my mom...ugh yeah. That's a real good R. Yeah right..
On MAS and the other board...I have yet to see a man leave a W n see some success story with OW. I guess they are out there...but rare, very rare. I am talking a signed court order voiding a marriage...not seen a one and def not seen a success story after the fact.
All my clients who get D'ed do not want a serious relationship..they want to have fun n enjoy their freedom...the behave like college students in a mid life crisis
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Thanks Dee for your thoughtful response. I really like this part and i thank you for it.
Sunshine
.
Sunshine,
This is not the place to apologize for awkwardness in expressing ourselves. don't be self-deprecating! You're doing fine and HERE is where we take all those jumbled up and confusing emotions and barf them up. Puke away!
Yes, stick to your truth - but, keep an open mind that your 'truth' will morph as your perspective changes. Just stay open. Personally, I had to face that I did, indeed, LIE to get laid - more specifically, to maintain the A so I could get my fix. I think you will find that lying and half-truths are the language of an A, on both sides. We lie, at least, to ourselves -- and that is the deepest betrayal of all.
Maintain an empathetic and gracious attitude towards your X, if that is what serves you best... just promise me that you will put your healing and progress above him and all else, ok? When we're striving towards bettering ourselves, it's not selfish to come first. We cannot be good to anyone else if we're not first good for our selves.
I'm really looking forward to seeing your journey - you remind me of me! I just hope you are wiser and less obstinate and avoid the shiz I put myself through.
Best, best, best-
Dee
Pages