totally ignored by AP and dumped
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totally ignored by AP and dumped
| Tue, 07-13-2010 - 10:06am |
Edited 7/13/2010 10:10 am ET by lucyford99
Edited 7/13/2010 10:29 am ET by lucyford99
| Tue, 07-13-2010 - 10:06am |
Edited 7/13/2010 10:10 am ET by lucyford99
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I know you are hurting but it really is time that you end this madness and stop waiting for him to do it. A relationship where you are giving a man the most precious thing you own (your body) and you can't even show up at his door step or call his closest relative when he disappears. This not healthy for you. He has already told you he feels guilty for cheating on his W and then when his guilt lets up a little he comes back, uses you one more time and pulls away again after he has left you in a hotel room wondering why you gave him something so precious. Your body is precious. It is the only thing that you have that belongs to you. Don't give it to someone who is running straight home to another woman and keeping you hidden from his RL. You will only destroy yourself in the end. No one night of hot sex is worth the feeling of loneliness and dispair that you feel after MM showers and goes home to his W, the woman he really loves. Don't put yourself in this position ever again.
He will call you again and I hope that you dig deep within and find that wonderful, honest woman deep within and tell him you are not giving your precious jewels again. Of course he lied to you and he is going to use you and lie to you for as long as you continue to lie down and be his doormat. You can't win him over because there is no winning in the A game. All are loosers. Read the information in the Healing Library. Read the stories of the many wonderful women who have been where you are now (rock bottom) and have pulled themselves out of the black hole. I know that while it may feel good the few hours of pleasures he providing you, the sinking despair that follows is much worse. I have been there and it is not a good place to be. Welcome to EAS and hang around and overcome this MM because right now I can guarantee you that he is home with wifey being Mr. Good H and father and you are a dot on a radar.
Lucyford,
I was responding to you when you decided to delete your post. You must have heard from Mr. MIA, but just know that we will be here for you when you've had enough of his "Now you see me, now you don't." He will continue pulling away and the day will come when you have had enough. It's always better to be the one to end it so you can spare yourself the rejection and heartache of being dumped. All affairs end evertually.
If you pop your head back in here again, start familiarizing yourself with our Healing Library so you can begin preparations for when the hatchet drops.
Take care,
~Iddy~
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
hello all
no i did not hear from him. I am still sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks, trying to figure out what happened and how he could do this to me.
i actually deleted my post because i was scared other members were going to chew me out for not being fully committed to ending it (i read a couple responses to some other posters that seemed pretty harsh and unsupportive and didn't think i could handle receiving a similar message at this moment in time).
i just deleted his number, all his texts, and removed him from facebook.
i feel pathetic because part of me hopes he will contact me but my brain tells me this will just all happen again and none of it is worth is, not when i have a wonderful long term BF who loves me and is so kind.
i hate myself and i hate him and i just want to curl up and die.
thanks for the support though, i do appreciate it.
Hating yourself is what got you into this mess, believe it or not. If you loved yourself you wouldn't have allowed this MM to pursue you. I know because I was exactly where you are now. A bruised ego and an xmm who threw me away after using me to build up his ego. There is hope for you. I made it through that and I know that I will never allow another man to use me for a cheap thrill. What helped me is a wonder T. She was an amazing woman who gave me tough love. We are still good friends today because she saved my life. I found out that my mistake of sleeping with a MM wasn't about him it was about me and how little I cared about myself. I had to peel back the layers and determine why. Once I found out why I didn't like myself I was able to rebuild a better me one step and one day at a time. Get up, dry your tears and get out and get some sunshine. This world has more to offer than some MM who is a coward who cheats on his W and then runs away like a little p*nk. Let him be his W little p*nk and you take better care of yourself by not falling for his phishing attempts again. You have more strength than you know.
Hi Lucy. I know some members might use the "tough love" but they do mean well. We all know how A's eventually end, and they all do. We have all been there and done that. I was here 4 years ago. If you weren't ready for end, MAS is the board to be at.
I don't know your story as it was deleted. Glad to see you removed his texts and from FB. I would block him from all methods of communication and delete all emails too. You have a wonderful BF and you deserve that. You don't deserve to be someone's left over scraps;)
Lucy -
So glad you came back. Read all you can from the Healing Library like Iddy said. I printed off so many things and read them on a daily basis - it really helped me at the beginning. You did the right thing by blocking him and posting here.
Bodhi
Lucy-
I guess I am late to the party because I did not get to read your original post, but from what the others have said, I know that I have been in your shoes. We all have. Now is the time for you to choose- and you do have a choice my dear- do you want your life back? Do you want out of this cycle of pain? Do you want to recover and live an honest life that you know you deserve? Then the choice is clear- you end the A. And it will be hard- oh so hard- and you will question yourself at every turn, but it is your only choice. Until you believe you have a choice, we can talk until we are blue in the face. This is your choice. Once you realize that, you will gain the strength you need to shut the door and move on. And then we will be here to help you pick up the pieces. Remember, we have been here before, we know what you are going through, and we know that you will make it, you just have to take the first step.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Hi Lucy,
I echo the sentiments of other members--i never read your post, but you should know that if you got yourself into an A and are a mess over it, you're in good company.
you should also know, that i'm a sensitive poster (others can vouch for this!) and i get very riled up when people post things that i consider as "judgmental". but, other posters are right, it's just tough love, and its how some people work, but everybody means well. don't be scared of us--we've been there, and we're here to support you. you're in a very vulnerable place right now.
if somebody says something that makes you uncomfortable, its okay to respond honestly. its the internet, and its not like any of us really know each other, so nobody is going to bite you ;)
if you're struggling to end an A and need support, you're in the right place. you will waffle back and forth, and we all have. this board is not called "ending an affair without any problems and moving forward without any bumps in the road".
you are NOT a horrible person, you are NOT some loser girl who's cut out for a life of getting sh*t on by men. you got yourself in a bad sitch, and you can get yourself out of it.
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