Tough day

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
Tough day
20
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 11:49am

Im having a rough day.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 6:32pm
I will also add to empowerment1's post re: affairs being a drug.

- Our As were an escape from reality
- They gave us a temporary high
- We would lose all sense of morality for a hit at any cost
- When the high would wear off we would feel like crap
- The longer we stayed away the more we wanted
- Our As have the capacity to destroy us and everyone around us
- Going cold turkey (NC) is HARD
- Withdrawals/cravings are experienced and expected
- Weaning off is the answer to "A"ddiction

xxxoo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 7:15pm
Hi MC, glad to hear you are feeling in better spirits. I wanted to post earlier but I was at work, just a regular day for me too! Thanksgivings was last month for us in Canada:) I have my down moments too, it's hard work right now to redirect my down moments, it will get better in time it's just going to take hard work and determination which I can see you have:) It's a new way to be, to live our lifes without escaping our
realities. I'm here for you as well as everyone else on the board. Hope your having a nice evening:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 8:14pm
Although this post was not written by me all I can say is I felt every bit of it and I will personally take the advise given. It is not easy I tell u. Difference with my memories is its 10% awe he was like this and that but the 90% was thinking back to every time he ignored me and made me feel like a piece of garbage. Yes this would happen day after I would see him. Now that memory is hard to deal with ugh! Thanks mark for posting :-) loved the advise given! And one more thing really how much more of yours/ mine self worth/ esteem/ respect can we afford to lose. I will speak for myself but I can't afford to jeopardize anymore but oh so bad I want for Xa$$ to make it ok. Almost to justify all that I have given of me.. Like it was for something. Sorry I couldn't think of the word. To describe what I am feeling in my heart so something will do LOL. Reality he never ever will! So let's listen to this great advise and create some good habits to replace the piece of crap habits we created.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 8:37pm
MC and Vanessa, just want u two to know I am thinking of you and love seeing the support you're showing each other. What great insight Vanessa and what a terrific way u handled the gloomies, by reading the library. Keep on keeping it real ladies. I PROMISE you it does get better. Much love.
Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 8:40pm
Hi Cait, I missed you on the board today. Thank you for your thoughts. You are a wonderful friend. I am feeling much better this evening. Just a bad day...Tomorrow will be better I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 8:42pm
Hi Jen,
Canadian too...so no turkey today lol Thanks for your comments. I am having a better evening. Thanks for your words of support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 8:47pm
aw Vanessa..thank you so much..i know you are a newbie too. It is tough but ive been doing some reading too and you are right it does help. I did not have a Dday thank goodness. Yes i know the anxiety you are talking about. For me it was a knot in my stomach. Always worrying if I would hear from him, the lies, fear of discovery. I do not miss any of that. Im doing better tonight. Thank you for your kind and helpful words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 8:54pm

to E1 and 3L

Thank you for all your help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 9:07pm
You ARE strong, MC. Stronger than u realize and certainly stronger than any tug back toward the black hole. I am so proud of you for following all the sage advice shared here and that you are doing the things you need to do to keep yourself strong, NC, and on the path to healing rather than having a pity party for yourself and coming up with an excuse to contact xAP. Takes a lot of strength to to that, sweetie. Keep working it, MC. You are going to be turning another corner very soon.
Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010
In reply to: markscloud
Thu, 11-25-2010 - 11:28pm

vanessa

this list is fantastic

and how true!

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