Hi Brighterdays, I know exactly what you mean about being upset at yourself for being so upset. You feel like you should be over it already...or at least not so vulnerable. I feel the same way. But the truth is that an A is a very complex wound, and one that takes a long, long time to heal. Something hit you in a part that's still tender, not quite healed--that's all. In time, that part will repair itself and strong new skin will replace the old--and then you'll feel indifference. That's how I'm trying to think of the process, anyway :)
I, too, have my youngest starting Kindergarten--wow, what a mix of emotions! Good luck dealing with that, too.
brighterdays, your son is starting K, mine is starting Grad school !!
I'm way over a year NC and I still have waves of feelings that pi** me off. I just go with it and I settle down shortly. It is usually music, but I know with college football coming up, it will be seeing him on the sidelines. I can deal with it and I gleefully hope he gets knocked down by a player. And I hope it hurts!!! I'm sooo bad, sorry. xAP will be in the news this week, so I know to not pay attention. And if I happen to see it anyway, I know how he got there - ego driven for attention. He will probaly be ticked he can't ask if I saw him. Ha ha, I love that he doesn't have me for his personal ego machine any longer.
Sometimes I think we may never be completely over an affair. We will always remember, some good and some bad memories. And there will always be triggers. Some will bother you more than others. I can see a car like xAP's and not be bothered at all anymore. But like you, hear a certain song, and yeah it's amazing how much it can bring back.
i've been at indifference a long time. but you can never forget nor never not be vigilant to yourself, your vulnerabilities and your healing. i'm such the better person than i once was.
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Dear Brighter,
First a big congrats on your strong resolve to stay NC.
Hi Brighterdays,
I know exactly what you mean about being upset at yourself for being so upset. You feel like you should be over it already...or at least not so vulnerable. I feel the same way. But the truth is that an A is a very complex wound, and one that takes a long, long time to heal. Something hit you in a part that's still tender, not quite healed--that's all. In time, that part will repair itself and strong new skin will replace the old--and then you'll feel indifference. That's how I'm trying to think of the process, anyway :)
I, too, have my youngest starting Kindergarten--wow, what a mix of emotions! Good luck dealing with that, too.
NS
AMEN sister!
brighterdays, your son is starting K, mine is starting Grad school !!
I'm way over a year NC and I still have waves of feelings that pi** me off. I just go with it and I settle down shortly. It is usually music, but I know with college football coming up, it will be seeing him on the sidelines. I can deal with it and I gleefully hope he gets knocked down by a player. And I hope it hurts!!! I'm sooo bad, sorry. xAP will be in the news this week, so I know to not pay attention. And if I happen to see it anyway, I know how he got there - ego driven for attention. He will probaly be ticked he can't ask if I saw him. Ha ha, I love that he doesn't have me for his personal ego machine any longer.
Sometimes I think we may never be completely over an affair. We will always remember, some good and some bad memories. And there will always be triggers. Some will bother you more than others. I can see a car like xAP's and not be bothered at all anymore. But like you, hear a certain song, and yeah it's amazing how much it can bring back.
NS -
Thanks for your reply.
BD,
Don't stress about this.
indifference takes time, but eventually triggers will fade to nothingness- true indifference.
when you are hit unawares and blindsided by a trigger while you are still in recovery mode, it is hard and you should not berate yourself.
CL-Lovely Starr
"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h
it's true, bk:
i've been at indifference a long time. but you can never forget nor never not be vigilant to yourself, your vulnerabilities and your healing. i'm such the better person than i once was.
CL-Lovely Starr
"No memory of having starred; atones for later disregard; or keeps the end from being h
Brighter,
I too am almost 6 months out.
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