in trouble at work .. help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
in trouble at work .. help
17
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:16am

im in trouble at work since i cannot concentrate and im way behind my tasks, i cant believe im going downhill in all aspects of my life, even at work, i work with OW, i have a hard time working and doing my job at work

i think the stress is taking a bad effect on me, i cant even function at work at all, even at home im a mess, i cant do what i been saying, im breaking apart literally

i dont know what to do, how will i get back my life, even work, i need a job, i cant find a job, OW ruin my life it seems, i know its all up to me but i cant do it right now, i dont know ho to deal with it anymore, i always have a constant headache hence i cant work or concetrate at work, im afraid im gonna lose my job because of this, im so messed up

help,

max

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 4:34pm

Max-

Please do b/c your post do not sound any better than your original. I can't see any improvement in your postings.

I want to add....there have been many, many days when I did not have the drive to get out of bed or the house....but I forced myself. You have to force yourself. It's not about the "want", it's about the "I have to!" There is such desperation in your post, and it causes me to ache for you.

SS

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 4:41pm

Hi Again Max,

Try to keep the no contact, t this point you really do sound like you need a therapist to help you get through this. You are not alone, You have us to keep you in tune and help you through your grief. I am happy to hear you are going to go to see a therapist. It all boils down to you wanting to help yourself, You are heading in the right direction. Try to get out a little more than the norm, staying at home with nothing to do only prolongs your agony and pain.

Take Care....
Ladybug

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 7:09pm

Hi Max

Been following your posts. I think you have a plan. Now to put into action. Get to the therapist, wrok on the working out thing and the church thing. Try to stay away from her as much as possible. And I agree with Sunshine, force yourself to get out of bed and live!! It is really important. You will get better. Just keep telling yourself that. One of my biggest motivators has been that I know after all this pain and struggle I will be rid of it for once and for all!! Stay focused.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 8:20pm

hi all,

i been trying to find a therapist all day and catching up on work, i want to go home now, its a mess, now my boss i think knew i had something with OW coz i heard him telling her that she needs to separate business with pleasure and never have any sort of relationship with someone at work

he has been giving me more work, not realy but it seems like a lot, i have a hard time managing my stress level at work, my shoulders are so tired from stress, its like im carrying a heavy load

i know i have a plan, my mind know what to do but how come i cant do it, im a rational person !, for some reason im not able to do what i need to do

i need to just go out of the house on the weekends, those are my hardest times

thanks all,

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 8:41pm

sunshine,

iam depress for sure, been reading about it and all my symptoms point to it, im looking to see a therapist soon, i just need to talk to a person, i have friends but i feel i cant realy talk to them about this, im in such pain and no one knows but me

i used to talk to OW a lot about anything so she became my support system in some way, my only support system i guess

im in my office now, i work in a lab(engr) and she came in and has to do some work with other collegues so i left and went to my office, i looked at her and she does not seem to be bothered at all, she is carrying on like nothing happened, i was just wondering it i realy meant anything to her ,.........

its such a bad week for me

max

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 11:05am
Max, you've gotten some excellent advice on this thread. You need to get moving! I think Ladybug said it's not about wanting to do things, it's about forcing yourself to do things. And you're going to have to force yourself. If you've exercised in the past as much as you say you have, the decreased chemicals that your body emits as the result of a workout are also going to have a negative effect on your emotions. Force yourself to get the gym or go out and run. And if I remember correctly you live in California, don't you? That means it's gotta be warmer there than it is where I am, and I'm still dragging my butt out to run in 20 degrees and colder. Force yourself, kiddo. Just my.02.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 3:42pm

thanks, u must be a lawyer :)

anyways, just found out the OW is out for a job interview, i feel a knot in my stomach, why do i feel this ?

its been the same for me everyday so far, i dont see any improvement, im going to see a therapist but there is no schedule yet, they have to call me back

the days are so tiring for me, i keep all my energy just not to think of OW, it makes me so tired at the end of the day yet when i go home i still cannot rest peacefully, she is always inside my head

she has been telling me that she will have to leave, she said she is doing it for me so i dont see her anymore and i can move on ... i realy have no more clue about her or what she is trying to tell me

people at work at starting to notice and my boss i think knows about me and OW also, he has not said anything to me but he told OW that she should not mix business with pleasure and not to have any sort of relationship in the workplace

i feel like my life is ruin, i dont blame OW but i blame myself for all of this, early on the affair she said that it wont work but me and her still kept on until she finally said its over

im just taking it one day at a time, im so used to being miserable now that it seems normal to me already ...

max
:(

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