To True, and the rest of my friends
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| Wed, 12-01-2004 - 7:39am |
Thank you for checking up on me. I didn't post anything yesterday because I just didn't have the energy to get on here. I don't think I 'm doing very well. I have to do SOMETHING, before this anxiety kills me. It's too much for me to handle. I wrote him a letter and I'm going to leave it on his vehicle at work tomorrow. I won't have to see or talk to him, and asked him not to reply to my letter. I basically just needed to say my goodbye to get at least some of the closure I am desperately seeking. It was a respectful letter, I felt a little better after writing it and really feel the need to have him read it. Please don't tell me not to do this. I NEED TO!!! This kind of NC is not getting better for me. Everyday it gets worse. I need to say goodbye in order to move on, whether he wants to hear it or not. Then I can and MUST proceed with NC. I know I will get through this, but I can't start over without him when I never really had a chance to face the end. Thank you all for listening and being here for me right now. I never imagined it would be this hard. He just disappeared. I will post more soon.
Love, PAL

Pal
You have to do what is going to work for you not everyone can deal with lifes issues the same way.
I know it is cold comfort but I think your doing the only thing that can offer you long term happyness, it hurts like hell now and it is going to take time to get over this but you will get over it you will survive and in time when your ready you will meet a real man that will swim through shark invested waters for you.
You have been a Pal to him now it is time to be one to yourself.
Free
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(((Pal)))
Only your heart can tell you what to do for closure. What is truly sad about affairs though, is that there usually isn't any.
(((((Pal)))))
True is right, he is probably on such a tight leash he's afraid to contact you. He is also probably wondering what would he say...I'm sorry just wouldn't cut it at this point. It may give you comfort to think of the hell he is going through at home, it can't be fun for him with W AND knowing what a shmuck he is for doing this to you...the woman he said he loved.
It is easier for HIM to let you suffer in silence than to do the kind thing and let you know one way or the other...again selfish and not a man you want in your life.
Hang in there.
Hope