Trusting a married man

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Trusting a married man
5
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 4:02pm
How can I trust this man after all the things he has done..I mean lied to me about his wife and child. What should I do now?? im expecting his baby so he says he wants to forget her and be with me ..How can I believe this is true??
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 5:33pm

Hiya Mom Star,

I had a nearly 4yr affair which produced my now 2yr old daughter.

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Um, you can't.

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Look after yourself and your baby as best you can. Expect only that the married man won't be around to help you, and that way any assistance you *do* receive will be a bonus. Also, speak with a laywer and find out your rights with regard to child support, whether you & the baby are entitled to maternity benefits/insurance benefits from him etc, and do this now rather than later.

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Believe it when it actually happens and not a moment before. Anyway, what's the attraction to someone who's obviously quite happy to jettison one wife and kid and replace them like they're disposable or something? Hardly Mr Reliable Family Man, now, is he? Why wouldn't he be likely to go jettisoning you sometime down the line? Words are cheap, Mom Star, and you already know he's a liar & that he's quite happy to cheat on his wife & betray his family and then simply walk away from them. I don't know about you, but when it came time for my daughter's father to move in with me, I turned him down since I didn't think he was going to make for such a great role model for our child.

<<< How can I believe this is true??>>>

You can't. Don't expect it and you won't be disappointed. In the meantime, get all your little ducks in a row so when baby is born everything is crystal clear for you and for the married man.

Wishing you strength & peace,
Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 5:35pm

Mom,

Sorry for you pain and what your going through. Its tuff and if your pregnant then I'm sorry to tell that with a child you will not ever be able to forget about him. He will always have a right to the child. You can move on and take this as a learning experience and make a life for you and your child out side of having a relationship with him.
If he is married then maybe you will be lucky not saying the child will be that he will not want anything to do with them. If he is willing to leave his wife for you that is also hard when it comes to trust. It was an affair so I wish you the best. I was in an affair for a long time and it was hard but I'm getting past that and healing.
Good luck to you. I wish posie was around for you.
HEALED

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 6:06pm

Posie,

See your always on my mind!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 8:19pm

And you 'orrible lot are never far away from mine so pllllllbbbbbbbth! ;p

Posie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 01-07-2005 - 8:31pm

Mom

You can trust him about as much as his wife can, NOT AT ALL.

Three words,Lawyer, Child support.

Don't Trust him PROTECT your babies rights under the law.

FREE