trying to be strong

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
trying to be strong
3
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 11:54am
im sad again today eventhough i have been strong and satyed firm on nc.

i can see that he is on msn but i appear away. he has been on all day. he only gets on to talk with me. it is so hard to see him there and not give in.

whats hurts the most is that i realize its over even if i really dont want that.

i will continue my little steps and hopefully one day i will feel happy again.

i dont right now.

thanks for listening......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 12:18pm
Sending you {hugs}

Do you think that you could remove him from your buddy list that way you won't see him all day long. I took OM off of my buddy list and even though I wonder if he is on line I know it would drive me crazy to have to see him there and not IM him. SO out of sight out of mind (if it only truly worked that way!)

Wishing you the strength you need to get thru this.

DAF

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 12:42pm
Daf/upsd

Out of sight out mind does work but it takes time and NC.

USDFH, Turn the computer off and go do something else, go for a walk clean the house anything but sitting there.

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2004
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 2:07pm
I am sorry you are having a hard time with this. I am having a bad day as well. One minute I feel so strong and feel like I really don't need him... then the next I am faltering and checking my phone, typing him an email. It's hard, this is still new and it's a habit - and habits take some time to break.

I haven't gotten to the point where I am able to remove him from my buddy list, but I know if I do, it will be easier. I don't know what's holding me back. I mean, if he sees me online and he wants to contact me, he always can - so being able to see his online just makes me feel worse when he doesn't IM me. I am hoping to not spend much time online this weekend, but I know I will be there at our usual times, hoping he will show up.

Like you said, take small steps and you will get there, slowly but surely. This is hard, you can't expect yourself to do too much at once. Feelings are involved and they just don't go away. It takes time.

I hope the rest of your day is better. Find something to keep you busy, that won't remind you of him!