Trying to be supportive to a friend who is going down same path I went
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Trying to be supportive to a friend who is going down same path I went
| Sun, 11-07-2010 - 7:06pm |
A gf of mine recently confessed to me that she ran into her exbf at a friend's cottage reunion get together.

You didn't mention if she knows about your A. If she does, you can tell her what you've been through and warn her, but unfortunately there isn't much more you can do. Your focus needs to be on your own healing. Again, if she knows about your A, tell her it's too painful for you to hear about her little encounters right now.
If she doesn't know about your A, try to steer the conversation away from this man - take the high road - remind her that she is married and tell her you don't want to be a part of her bad decision. Your friend needs tough love if you don't want her to feel the intense pain we've all felt here. Point her in our direction - maybe some reading on EAS will open her eyes.
Bodhi
She sure does.
Since she knows about your A, like I said, tell her that it's too painful for you to talk about this other man with her. She should respect your feelings. The more tough love you give her the better. Hopefully she'll figure it out before she gets in too deep.
Bodhi
Anyway, listen when you can, share what you know and if you can't just say so! Remember it's about you. Hang out with people who do not know then the topic doesn't come up and if she's there she won't feel free to discuss. It's ok to take a break from the friendship. Tell her you'll be there for her when it falls apart, but right now is too painful. It's the most honest thing you can do. I plan to do that for my friend.
C
Hi!
Two things instantly came to mind when I read your post: collusion and enabling. Both of these are completely inconsistent with friendship and with YOU now choosing to live an authentic life with dignity.
1. Collusion
And TU is next up to bat... the pitcher sends her a fastball, and CRACK! SHE BELTS IT OUT OF THE PARK!!!!
To both Chechi and Cait,
Friendship goes both ways!