?? Trying to get a reaction OR WHAT??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
?? Trying to get a reaction OR WHAT??
6
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 4:37pm

I am so sick and tired of XAP!! We work together and it always seems he tries to do SOMETHING to get some sort of reaction out of me?!?!? Nothing too big but something enough to just push my buttons!


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 5:12pm

Hey CG,


I have posted about this very issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 6:14pm

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I can empathize with how difficult working with an xAP can be. It is so tough as you never know when that next little trigger is going to come. I tried to be as professional as possible with xAP, but one way or another he would try and re-engage me emotionally. It was so hard to take, and I was so exhausted from it all, I had to leave that work behind. I was fortunate to have that as an option ... my heart goes out to you.

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 10:17pm

Hi CG,


Yeah, I'm a crazy girl too....because of LC!

Babysteps


...even if it is all I can do, I can take one babystep.


NC/LC since May 21, 2010

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2004
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 11:56pm
I think that I figured out what XAP means. It's good to vent. seems like you needed to do that. try to replace your thinking to be able to ignore this person more, using realistic affirmations. prepare some specific responses to this person in advance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 6:50am

To all of you in LC,


It is very difficult, not to mention extremely stressful, but with time it does get easier. As I have written numerous times, it took almost a year before I was finally in a good place inside of my head. Be patient, and keep doing whatever needs to be done, in letting the XAP see that he no longer has any power over you. Fake it until you make it.


Wishing you all peace and strength,

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 10:53am

Thank you all for your words of understanding and encouragement. It sure helps a lot to know you aren't alone.


I think we both hate each other now which is almost bitter-sweet; I hate that we have gotten to this point yet I am glad becuase it makes it easier if I tell myself I hate him........


It has been 8 weeks LC (will be this Thursday) but somedays it seems as if it gets harder then easier. When I ended the A (we both did I guess) I sent him a good-bye letter stating how he really hurt me, that he was my 1st A and I was nothing but a game, prey and that now when men look at me (of his kind) I said to him; "I can't even stand now when a man looks at me, you guys with your nice bodies, tattoos, bikes I think I know your game and your nothing but a dog so stop looking at me" and also told him "I now understand why you use to say you were a d*ck, a monster and just not a good guy".....so it was a harsh letter yet very honest and truthful and I think ripped deep inside him.


Okay, just needed to share that with someone! :)


Thanks again to all of you! We will all make it through!!


HUGS!