Trying to get thru this.................
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| Tue, 06-15-2004 - 10:43pm |
I sometimes think he is trying to hold onto that last little bit of hope for our affair to continue. My contact to him is little to none. (only when he calls me, and it's always while I'm at work, like he needs to hear my voice and he knows I can't stay on the phone with him very long.) I no longer call him at all. I know that there are some kind of feelings there between us. I have told him many times that he needed to find someone else to have in his life, (other than his wife), and that I can't be that person any more.
Everyday I struggle with the wonder that the phone will ring and it will be him, and I struggle with the fact that I fell in love with a man that doesn't belong to me. I really struggle with the fact that I allowed myself to get involved in an affair. If I could turn back time, that 1st day he called me I would have said " you have the wrong woman" and hung up the phone.
I would like to believe that he really did/does love me in some way, also I would like to believe that his heart is hurting just like mine is. I know men and women view things in a totally different light, and I'm sure he is is going on with his life as usual. Me....I'm trying to. Putting on that happy face when I need to. I still struggle everyday with my emotions and trying to not be so hard on myself for what I allowed to happen. I know that in time I will be okay. I have a wonderful bunch of friends that give me support any time I need it and I have this board to come to. Thank Goodness!!!
I have rambled long enough. Thanks for listening!!!!!

Long time no post!!
Nice to here from you, Hon your just plain and simply going to have to SLAM that NO CONTACT door in his face like it or not or he is never going to stop the torture and this seems to be getting to the point of emotional abuse for the sake of him looking out for number one.
When it comes right down to it what he is doing is very disrespectfull and self serving and has diddlie to do with love or any healthy emotion.
Time to start really taking care of you.
Free
You always give such good strong advice and responses. I admire your strength. And I will be as strong as you, I know. (I just wish I could hurry it along, LOL)
Thanks again!!!!