Turned the corner
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Turned the corner
| Fri, 05-14-2004 - 12:50pm |
Whew. This week was a tough one, and I still don't know why. I just got trapped in a "thinking about the OM" mode. I've had an irrational fear all week that something bad has happened to him. And no, I'm not about to use that as some lame excuse to contact him. But I did obsess about it for awhile, and about the fact that if something happened to him, how would I ever know?? I have been very down on myself because here it has been 5.5 months and I'm *still* obsessing about this man??? He's still taking up way too much of my time & energy, at least mentally. I thought by now I'd have made some progress.
Well, it hit me last night that the fact that I am not *acting* on my obsession should be considered progress, right? I think that without you guys here to report to, I probably would have succumbed to the temptation to call or write him to check up on him. So, thanks for being there. Today I feel the obsession subsiding, and feel like I'm getting back to normal. Thank god. For a few days there, I thought I was going to be stuck in this pathetic cycle forever, but today I'm feeling some hope.

But no, he just left me hanging with no explanation, no goodbye, no kiss my a$$. nothing at all.
Its pretty sad to think that I allowed myself to be used by a person who doesn't have even enough respect for me or care enough about me to tell me goodbye.
Take care everyone,
Dusty
I also feel like i was used. By someone who was just looking for a bit of fun before he left. As we had a period of 4 months when we didn't talk at all & he totally ignored any communication i made with him but then suddenly decided he wanted to see me again.
I do still think about him most days & still stupidly check reguarly for that email or text msg that doesn't come, but on the whole i don't obsess anymore. What is it with all this obsessing we are all experiencing? Must be something in the air.