UGH.
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 04-06-2010 - 7:01pm |
So, I'm trying really hard, but this sucks. I'm depressed, lonely, and just angry and irritable today. Exap and W invited us out for dinner AGAIN tonight. I said no.
I just have no interest in seeing them. What's the point? It's just pointless, useless! And it'll get me wrapped back up in the A, and at the end of the night I will only be hurt again.
I'm going into self-protect mode. I can't take stand this. Exap admitted that he drove up to my work and sat outside for over 20 minutes, but never came in. He said he was having a hard day...... but when I"M having a bad day, is he there for me??? NO. So he expects me to be there for him anytime, at the drop of a hat? Yeah, right. Not gonna happen. Jerk.
He knows he keeps reeling me in- he tells me he doesn't want me, but keeps on playing these games. I just can't do it anymore. I want my RL back. I am so glad I said no again tonight.
Hazel

Good for you for saying no... each time it will get easier and hopefully soon, they stop asking. That will really allow you to heal. I am saddened to read so much pain in your post, especially when I recall such strength and hope in so many of your posts a few weeks back. Go back and read those, Hazel. You really are an insightful and strong woman... now it's time to let your heart catch up with your head. Free yourself from this painful cycle, reinvest in your M and let go of this A. I know you can do it.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Hazel,
I can't imagine how difficult your situation must be.
Hazel,
I think about you quite often and how hard it must be to be in the situation you are in.