Ugh!
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| Tue, 10-19-2004 - 4:16pm |
Question - Do any of you find yourself trying to remember what life was like BEFORE your A? XOM and I were only 'together' for a few months, but for some reason, I can't remember what my days were like before we met. We spent so much time together during the day - meeting for lunch, coffee, drinks - emailing, calling, text messaging. I can't seem to remember what I use to do when I was having a bad day...or a good one for that matter. H is CFO of his company and VERY busy while at work, so it is rare that we talk during the day. If we do, it is usually because he calls me. Now, I come here and read or post. But I often find myself sad during these moments when I think of XOM (as I use to) and know that I CANNOT call/email him. It has only been 5 days of NC, and I know eventually it will get better, but what to do in the mean time?
Today, for example, I decided screw him - I was still going to do things we use to do together that I enjoyed, ut by myself. I was in a bad mood and grabbed my car keys and headed to Starbucks. Of course, when i walked in, I noticed they had a new flavor for Nov. and immediatley thought of calling XOM, but I didn't. This just made me feel sadder and more irritated with myself.
I am an attractive, young, educated, fun woman...my husband's a great 'catch' and he obviously married me. So why am I so hung up on this "boy" (XOM is 3 years my junior)?? How did I let him get into my head and take control over me?? Why am I having such a hard time letting go - he certainly has! What the hell is wrong with me?
Diva

stay strong!!
We fell into a bad trap and it may take a little time to pull ourselves out.
I wish I was a world of advice and happy thoughts for you, but just wanted to know that although we are both feeling the rainy blues, it too shall pass. :)
sending you (((hugs))))
xo!
Dipss