Update.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Update.......
1
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 3:46pm
When I woke up this morning I felt really weepy. Then, I made up in my mind that I was going to end it with MM tomorrow. I felt so empowered. I had caught him in a lie. I let him know that I knew he was lying, and left it at that.

Then I got him to tell me the truth about where he has been disappearing to in the evenings. I knew where he was, but he would always lie to me about it. He and his W made the agreement that she would take his dd to school, and since he wasn't working he would pick her up. Why would he lie about that? He's been making up all kinds of lies about where he is in the evening.

This is what I'm going to tell him tomorrow, we are having lunch. "I think our relationship needs a new start. When your divorce is final, you have a job, a place to live, and have set up some type of routine visitation with your dd, and can mend the fences that you have torn down, then give me a call". I'm not going to lie to be with you anymore. I honestly don't want to be dragged through his divorce process. I personally can't handle it, he lies to much. One peace of advise I've always given my dd "if you can't be yourself around a person, or if you have to lie to be with them, then you don't need to be around them." The whole situation of me lying to spend time with MM. MM, lying to me, to spend time with his dd. Everybody is lying to somebody. To be totally honest, I don't think he will ever file for divorce. If he loves me, then he will do what it takes to be with me (I'm not holding my breathe). I think he will end up going back home again. I've never been wrong before, and I'm sure, I'm not wrong on that.

I feel so much better that I have come to a decision. I know the words that I'm going to say, and my heart is at peace with it. I'll be sure to drop in tomorrow and let you know how things turn out.

I hope I'm not making a mistake......but if I am, it's not my first, and it won't be my last. I pray that God will send some single person to me. Next, Saturday is my 40th birthday, and I what to have a "Re-birth-day Party". I want to shed all the old baggage, pain, hurt, and start fresh. I want to eat healthier, try my best to exercise, and see if I can't get the old "me" back. This A has drained me of my life, and it's time for me to get it back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
In reply to: secretluver
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 9:40pm
I just read a previous post of yours and read about how you've been involved with your MM for 17yrs. I can only imagine how painful the break may be for you. I was involved in my EMA for about 4yrs and I still feel hurt over it, but it's been almost 3yrs since it was over so it does get easier with time. I hope you heal faster, maybe if you think of all the pain you've already endured, and the lies and deceit, that may enable you to be thankful that it's over. I read your post about the PI too, and that was...well thankfully someone responded to you sensibly. I can't say the PI thought had never crossed my mind, wondering what he's doing, where he's going. But then I remember ME. I'm not the type that needs "proof" or validation for what I feel or sense. To me my own perception is all the proof I need--yeah I'm wrong sometimes but more often than not I am right. Anyway, XMM said his W had had him followed before, and he ditched the PI (twice). So in my case, even if I did do it he may catch on (and probably blame it on his W!).

Again I hope you have a speedy recovery. Take care of yourself. Stay strong. Try to reach Peace. =)