Update on Janejosie for Any EAS Vets

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Update on Janejosie for Any EAS Vets
1
Tue, 12-10-2013 - 12:47am

Hello! I am back and I am finally liberated from my A!  It only took two years of long, hard work...yay! 

I always struggled with blocking and walking, while I think it is a very good and effective plan, it didn't work for me.  We stayed friends.  Man, there were a ton of ups and downs and backsliding, but in over time, we both got better at be disciplined and realistic about the situation.  Fortunately, he was very consistent about ending the romantic/sexual part of our A, and after a few years of steady rejection, I got the picture...lol.  The great news is that our old friendship of 20 years was still there, underneath, and it has pretty much come back to life the way it was for so long before our R turned into an A.  The few times that he has slipped up, I have been able to be the strong one and reject any idea of returning to the craziness of the A.  I NEVER want to be in that situation again with him.  I can't even imagine returning to that dark, crazy sceanrio anymore.  I know I am finally out of it for good, and I have felt this way for well over a year now.

It's funny, but on MAS, a "happy ending" is when two APs end up together in love in real life.  I consider this a happier ending for me.  Even in the depths of my A, I knew AP had some serious issues that would make it hard to be married to him.  Now, I get to have my old, good friend back without the baggage we would have brought together into a marriage.  And I am free to look for REAL love with somebody who is free to accept it from me, someday, after I have healed myself and am ready for it.

I just wanted to come back and say hello to some of those vets who were kind enough to support me and give me encouragement.  You told me I could do it, and I had a hard time believing it in my heart.  It seemed like his hold over me was unbreakable, and your words helped me to realize I could move on and that time would be a big factor in letting go.  Thank you!!!

Janejosie

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Wed, 12-11-2013 - 12:19pm

Hey Janejosie!

I'm happy to hear you are over and done with, and free from the angst of, your affair.  You sound really grounded.  I am so happy for you.  I just know it will be only a matter of time when  you find real love because you are a great lady.

Thank you for coming back and giving us an update.  And I speak for all Vets who were a factor in helping you, thank you for the recognition.  Of course, it was all in your hands...we just provided the encouragement and support.

Wishing you a Happy Holiday Season,

((hugs))

Clarity

P.S. I would remiss in reminding all that NC does work, and it CAN and WILL work when implemented ;) 

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board