Update of my previous posts

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Update of my previous posts
1
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 8:48pm
Well I heard from xMM at 10 this morning. I guess she is still begging him to stay, he still is continuing to say no. She left to pick up the kids when he called. He was asking me my plans for today cuz he said he'll probably be leaving sometime today. It's 8:30 pm and I haven't heard from him since then. I don't know what that means. If he's definately sticking to his plan then I'm sure he has a lot to sort out at home right now, and of course wouldn't call me with her there. (Unless of course, she dials for him.) Or it means that he has chosen to stay and just hasn't had the opportunity to tell me yet. I have very mixed emotions right now. As time moves on, and her knowing about us now, I am beginning to feel extremely guilty about this whole thing. I know she is in excruciating pain and hates me to no end now. He told me a whole list of nasty things she called me and stuff she was making up to make me look bad. He said it just made him want to defend me and be with me more. I think I am to the point right now, that if he chooses to stay home I will be ok with it. Maybe even relieved a little?? I don't know. I love him so much and every part of me wants to be with him. If he chooses me, I will welcome him. But I'm starting to feel so selfish!! This is the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I don't want to break up a family and destroy his kids. Why couldn't this have happened differently? I feel like we belong together. I know he feels it too. But not under these circumstances. Feeling so confused and down about this whole thing right now. I'm so close to having him right now. I should be happy!!What does it mean that I haven't heard from him since this morning? What do my feelings mean and what should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 11-25-2004 - 10:21pm

Pal

What is there for you to do, either he leaves or he does not, none of this is up to you or under your power.

If he Chickens this time "I" personally would show him the middle finger but thats just me.

Perhaps your feeling guilt because your affair bubble as posie would call it is popping as this goes real world with a bang.

Good luck

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