Ups and Downs
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| Wed, 04-14-2010 - 9:57am |
Hey Gang-
Just wanted to check in today. I had a rough day yesterday. I faced a trigger that I was not prepared to face and I was super tempted to break NC on day 76. However, I came here, read the posts, received some tough love (thank you, New Season), and stuck to my 48 hour rule (do not ACT on any emotions for 48 hours)... And Voila- less than 24 hours later, the moment has passed and I am so glad that I did not throw 76 days of NC down the toilet.
So, let me be a lesson to ya'll. Even those of us who appear to be made a steel have moments. It's what we choose to do with those moments that matter. Stick to NC. Work on yourself. Allow yourself to feel, but not obsess. With each day it does get easier.
Hugs,Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
Edited 4/14/2010 9:58 am ET by secretlifeofjane28

Jane,
the 48 hour rule is great! While in the A and for a fog-lifting period after ending it, we are conditioned to respond from a place of passion and pathos. Retraining ourselves to not act in a knee-jerk fashion takes discipline and patience. It sounds like you're doing that very well and I hope others will follow your example.
Good job!
Dee
I agree - and it runs counter to ever thing we did in the A - which was to jump every time we were asked to. 48 hours - but he could forget about me in 48 hours! While in the A I had great difficulties when we weren't together - and most times we are talking only 12 hours between seeing him. But the insecurity at play made that seem like forever, that he could & would disappear on me if given too much time - see I felt that insignificant and disposable. And I am someone who LOVES time on my own - even long travel trips without my DH. No worries that he would forget me! That's just silly.
So now - I love each day that I am strong enough to not respond - I've watched hours turn into days, and now into weeks. I can't wait to get to months and then years.
Hey Jane,
It's good to hear today is better than yesterday.