urged to tell by friend
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urged to tell by friend
| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 9:26pm |
A friend of mine has recently been urging me to tell my bf about the one time A I had a year ago. I have been doing really well in coping with my mistake. Ive been praying and reading this forum and talking with my mother. But this friend has just brought me all the way back into questioning myself and what I should do. I kno I don’t want to tell my bf but I get this nawing guilt that I should. Is this just my other side trying to make me think I would be doin the right thing when it’s the wrong? I cant even tell anymore! I thought I was at a place where I was forgiving myself and actions but then this friend just turned everything up side down!!
I cant help but think he is telling me to do it because he cheated on his gf a few times. The first time he was honest the second he lied and she found out. They aren’t together anymore. So I feel like he just wants me to suffer too. And another thing that makes me question his advice is that he is being accused of rape.
i have a fear that he will tell, even when he has promised to take it to his grave. I cant help but be scared. And then when i talked to my mother about it she said that the things we fear often come true.
Im just back to questioning myself all over again! And feeling like a horrible person! what can i do to not let people effect me like they do!
I cant help but think he is telling me to do it because he cheated on his gf a few times. The first time he was honest the second he lied and she found out. They aren’t together anymore. So I feel like he just wants me to suffer too. And another thing that makes me question his advice is that he is being accused of rape.
i have a fear that he will tell, even when he has promised to take it to his grave. I cant help but be scared. And then when i talked to my mother about it she said that the things we fear often come true.
Im just back to questioning myself all over again! And feeling like a horrible person! what can i do to not let people effect me like they do!

I checked out your other post, it seems that you are truly remorsefull of your one time mistake and understand way it happened, so unless there is a good reason to tell b/f what is the point in doing so.
Haveing said that if you believe that the other guy is going to rat you out it is better for you to prepare your b/f first and tell him in a situation under your control, if you were in IC at the time you could point to that to prove that your truly sorry and takeing steps to make sure it will never happen again.
F
As for your friend....Id be doubting at this point if hes really being a friend.It could be that he has alterior motives.In the past I have had bad experiences with telling friends(ie. my reason for my previous post)I had actually at one point confided in a close friend about my relationship with MM, I needed someone to talk to, and even though she was helpful and supportive to me under a guise, on the sly she actually went and anonymously told MMs wife about us.She said at the time that she did it out of concern for me but I have since discovered that she did it basically out of pure meanness and jealousy that someone was actually taking my attention away from her.She has her own issues obviously (dont we all, HA!)
Anyway, I seriously wouldnt listen to him.If youre getting a good support system from your mother and from praying, continue there.I know my mom is wonderful to me through this whole mess, and I pray all the time.
Good luck to you
Emma
i keep second guessing everything! ugh i wish i could just move on from something, compared to some stories, so trivial... but here u all are still giving me advice! its good to kno that people are still willing to help others!!
The ownly good reason I can think of is the one I gave about being outed by the other Guy who already knows, because it is easier to here it from your mate then from somebody else but if the friend will keep his mouth shut then there is no reason at all.
Try to move forward with b/f and do right by him in the future.
GOOD LUCK
F