Urgent! Need u BAD! MY Physical Health!
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Urgent! Need u BAD! MY Physical Health!
| Fri, 02-12-2010 - 5:45pm |
I am crying and shaking as I type this please excuse typos gramma etc... I have no one to talk to.

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luvin...
I just want to send you the biggest biggest hugs and let you know you are NOT alone right now. I am thinking about you right at this minute and willing some strength over to you from the other side of the world. What you are going through is incredibly devastating and more painful than you could ever imagine. But you will dig so so deep right now and take some very slow and deep breaths and try to stay as calm and rational as you possibly can. You WILL get through this, you will.
I'm not sure that I can offer you any great advice right now and hopefully someone who is more experienced than me with this stuff will be along very soon to give you hope. But I CAN tell you I am here. And will support you in any way that I can. Even if that's to let you know that you are so not alone right now.
But the main thing right now for you is to try try try to think less about xAP and try to concentrate on your stuff right now. As hard as it is to let go some of that anger, try and redirect it towards yourself and turn it into something much more peaceful and loving. You absolutely can't change other people, but you can change how you perceive and deal with things yourself. Is there anyone at all you can call right now and talk to? Anyone you can confide in? Have you organised IC? As hard as it is to do (and I'm trying to work on it myself right now), acceptance is a big key in dealing with and moving on after an A. Yes there are sometimes major repercussions as a result, but we just have to keep dealing with it all until we get to a stage where there is no more stuff to 'deal with'. You will get there, you will.
Tell yourself you CAN do this...you WILL get through this and you will deal with each thing as it comes up. You will focus on your health right now and try not to obsess about xAP and what he is or should be thinking or feeling. You have no control over that at all.
Be Strong honey, you are in my thoughts xx
BeStrong,
Thank you. U r soooooooooooo right. Focus on me. Focus on me. 2 weeks from being a tween (3 months
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
You're doing an awesome job as we speak. Yes...focus on YOU...you're the most important person right now, and your kids need you. Yes.
When you get a chance look into another C if you can. You never know, you might find one that makes a heap of difference to your life. MSW? You must be so smart and dedicated! I am in my last year of a SW degree (can't wait to finish!) and I've had to be careful not to 'over analyse' my IC and just go with her style, hard at times!! But I make sure I take some things from each session and that's the main thing. It's just great to be able to talk for a whole hour about MY stuff and have someone listen 100%.
And yes, running is great, I love it too! It's my thing right now...about the only thing I can focus on. Was struggling yesterday, and tried to 'run out' those frustrations, anxiety and pain for an hour. Worked a bit! But the weather is Summer here so I am able to do that.
Keep focused my friend, and please take care of yourself. You deserve it so much xx
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Luvin, hey.....
I just read your post and my heart is hurting for you.
I really hope a hysterectomy won't be necessary. Maybe
another curettage will make your uterus clean again and
a hysterectomy won't be needed. I can't imagine what you
are going through. Did you have pain before the doctor
found out about the blood and stuff inside of you?
Praying for you,
Htgo
I've wanted to reply to your post since I read it, but couldn't at first because I am so heartbroken for you and I simply don't feel qualified to help.
Blue Bell,
You are right, I am blessed with my children and am so thankful.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Dear Luvin,
Sometimes when I read your posts I am overcome with sadness for you, for what you have endured ... and then those emotions are replaced with admiration and amazement for the strength and courage you continue to show in moving past this horrific time in your life. I can't imagine how it feels to have any more of your life impacted by him, regardless of the outcome - it isn't okay. None of it was or is okay.
I do believe that Karma comes around ... whether that is as a result of a 'divine' intervening or simply the way life has a way of catching up with us. He will have his someday.
For now, wrap our love around you like a protective blanket. Carry it will you into your appointment on Monday - and when you are feeling alone in all of this, feel its weight around you and know, that you are not alone.
j.
ALL,
I posted earlier and forget to say that you ALL (newbie, tween vets,) actually I do not think that any vets have chimed in...WHERE are you ladies? Miss ya!! But anyway, my point is, most of you have posted that you are new or have little experience, while that may be true, you all just taking the time to post is appreciated. And your words of encouragement DO help, they DO give me strength.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
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