Urgent! Need u BAD! MY Physical Health!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Urgent! Need u BAD! MY Physical Health!
13
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 5:45pm

I am crying and shaking as I type this please excuse typos gramma etc... I have no one to talk to.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 6:04pm

luvin...

I just want to send you the biggest biggest hugs and let you know you are NOT alone right now. I am thinking about you right at this minute and willing some strength over to you from the other side of the world. What you are going through is incredibly devastating and more painful than you could ever imagine. But you will dig so so deep right now and take some very slow and deep breaths and try to stay as calm and rational as you possibly can. You WILL get through this, you will.

I'm not sure that I can offer you any great advice right now and hopefully someone who is more experienced than me with this stuff will be along very soon to give you hope. But I CAN tell you I am here. And will support you in any way that I can. Even if that's to let you know that you are so not alone right now.

But the main thing right now for you is to try try try to think less about xAP and try to concentrate on your stuff right now. As hard as it is to let go some of that anger, try and redirect it towards yourself and turn it into something much more peaceful and loving. You absolutely can't change other people, but you can change how you perceive and deal with things yourself. Is there anyone at all you can call right now and talk to? Anyone you can confide in? Have you organised IC? As hard as it is to do (and I'm trying to work on it myself right now), acceptance is a big key in dealing with and moving on after an A. Yes there are sometimes major repercussions as a result, but we just have to keep dealing with it all until we get to a stage where there is no more stuff to 'deal with'. You will get there, you will.

Tell yourself you CAN do this...you WILL get through this and you will deal with each thing as it comes up. You will focus on your health right now and try not to obsess about xAP and what he is or should be thinking or feeling. You have no control over that at all.

Be Strong honey, you are in my thoughts xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 6:42pm

BeStrong,


Thank you. U r soooooooooooo right. Focus on me. Focus on me. 2 weeks from being a tween (3 months

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 7:01pm

You're doing an awesome job as we speak. Yes...focus on YOU...you're the most important person right now, and your kids need you. Yes.

When you get a chance look into another C if you can. You never know, you might find one that makes a heap of difference to your life. MSW? You must be so smart and dedicated! I am in my last year of a SW degree (can't wait to finish!) and I've had to be careful not to 'over analyse' my IC and just go with her style, hard at times!! But I make sure I take some things from each session and that's the main thing. It's just great to be able to talk for a whole hour about MY stuff and have someone listen 100%.

And yes, running is great, I love it too! It's my thing right now...about the only thing I can focus on. Was struggling yesterday, and tried to 'run out' those frustrations, anxiety and pain for an hour. Worked a bit! But the weather is Summer here so I am able to do that.

Keep focused my friend, and please take care of yourself. You deserve it so much xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 8:48pm
I haven't been around here long, and I'm a newbie for sure...but, I did want to offer some hugs and support! I can't imagine on top of everything else to have a physical reminder of it all as well. Can I say...you sure do seem to be doing rather amazingly! I can empathize with wanting to reach out with a virtual smack upside the head. But then, I wonder what good would come of that? So, to echo a common theme on the board - focus on you, and be good to yourself. Sometimes 'mind over matter' can do some pretty interesting things. Regardless, my thoughts are with you and I'm sending lots of hugs!! I hope the blizzard lets up soon for you, weather sure can be a pain in the arse (and sometimes 'it just figures'. When all of this came down for me, it was a really cold, wet rainy day...pouring rain, actually...as if the weather knew! Pathetic fallacy, if we were all in a novel I suppose). But, I digress...((HUGS)) and keep us posted!
----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 10:44pm
i don't have much to add except don't worry much about a hysterectomy if you need one. i had one in my early 20s - difference is I did not have children first - thank God you were blessed to be
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 5:58am

Luvin, hey.....

I just read your post and my heart is hurting for you.
I really hope a hysterectomy won't be necessary. Maybe
another curettage will make your uterus clean again and
a hysterectomy won't be needed. I can't imagine what you
are going through. Did you have pain before the doctor
found out about the blood and stuff inside of you?

Praying for you,
Htgo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 12:57pm

I've wanted to reply to your post since I read it, but couldn't at first because I am so heartbroken for you and I simply don't feel qualified to help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 2:47pm

Blue Bell,


You are right, I am blessed with my children and am so thankful.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 5:57pm

Dear Luvin,

Sometimes when I read your posts I am overcome with sadness for you, for what you have endured ... and then those emotions are replaced with admiration and amazement for the strength and courage you continue to show in moving past this horrific time in your life. I can't imagine how it feels to have any more of your life impacted by him, regardless of the outcome - it isn't okay. None of it was or is okay.

I do believe that Karma comes around ... whether that is as a result of a 'divine' intervening or simply the way life has a way of catching up with us. He will have his someday.

For now, wrap our love around you like a protective blanket. Carry it will you into your appointment on Monday - and when you are feeling alone in all of this, feel its weight around you and know, that you are not alone.

j.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 8:18pm

ALL,


I posted earlier and forget to say that you ALL (newbie, tween vets,) actually I do not think that any vets have chimed in...WHERE are you ladies? Miss ya!! But anyway, my point is, most of you have posted that you are new or have little experience, while that may be true, you all just taking the time to post is appreciated. And your words of encouragement DO help, they DO give me strength.

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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