Use this thread to vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Use this thread to vent
24
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 12:03pm

For those of you having a bad or difficult day

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 12:51pm

Here's what I hate...


I hate that you were my collge BF and I had you on a pedatsal, so when running into you again after 20 years apart, I looked at you thru those childhood eyes, and not thru the lenses of reality.


I hate that you told me I was one of three people you would never ever hurt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 2:47pm

I hate that I can think back to a time when I felt that ex-MMs feelings were actually stronger for me than mine were for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 3:30pm

Dear Mickey,


I tried to send you an email but it did not allow me. If you wish, email me at waiting4thesunshine@gmail.com.


Just wanted to give you a hug and some virtual support.


Sunshine

.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 3:56pm

I'm sick and tired of having to close down thousands of PayMyBill.com and Video.nbcuni.com pops ups...PITA!!


Ohhh....vent about affair...nevermind (in my Gilda voice :)


Chocolate Valentine


"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 3:58pm

I hate that I did something that was “not me.” I didn’t recognize myself and when I told people, they were disappointed in me and didn’t recognize me either. I hate that my friend cared more about my husband than I did. When I told her what I was doing, she was the supportive friend and said “I just feel bad for (my H).” At that point, I did not even feel bad for what I was doing because I had fully justified it and even told myself that it was helping my marriage.

I hate that I did something that would destroy my husband if he ever found out. It hurts me even more to know that my H would never ever do that to me. He trusts me completely and I betrayed him. I feel undeserving of his love and feel guilty when I spend time with his family who also loves me. I just went on an amazing family ski trip with the in-laws and I felt terrible.

I hate that I still want him to email me. And I especially hate that he will never email me. I hate that at one simple request to not email me anymore, he was able to do just that and let go so quickly.

I hate that after a month and a half of NC, he still consumes my thoughts. I replay our conversations and EVERYTHING else that we did together. I hate that I think about him when I have sex with my husband and I have to think about him to get in the mood. The ironic part is that I never even achieved “the big O” with xMM!!!

I hate that I check his facebook friends (the only thing I have access to since we are not friends…and I know I shouldn’t because it’s breaking NC) and get nervous about finding a young, cute girl as a new friend.

I hate that I wonder if he checks my status and that every time I post something, I wonder what he would think when he read it.

I AM a good person but I did a terrible thing. I disappointed myself, my family, my friends, and most importantly, my incredible H.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:34pm

Thanks waiting,


H is coming over so I will email you tomorrow.


(((((HUGS)))))) to you as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 5:54pm

Everything seems to be going sour for me.


For one, tomorrow is going to be exactly 1 whole month (5 weeks) of no contact with xAP.

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 6:11pm

Lost,

gonna email u off the board, but i just wanted to say so proud of you. i know your last month has been hard, but you did. u did it. and you know i know how tough it is. i feel you on most of what you said in your posts. i am right there with you except a minor few exceptions.

be proud of yourself, despite the pain, you have a lot to be proud of...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 6:31pm

Thanks Sienna, I'll check my e-mail. ;)

NC since Dec. 9th 2009

No Contact = No N

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 8:49am

I hate that he came into my life at a time when i was vulnerable and weak and exploited my weakness to slowly but surely turn a 'friendship' into an affair.