I think I'm feeling the same way...though, I'm really trying not to put too much thought into it (or I'll just drive myself nuts!). I didn't know xAP last Vday. Though, I did feel somewhat similar over the holidays/NYE this year - wondering what was going on (and in turn, being 'not quite there' while I was at home visiting my own family! Sigh). Here where I am, well it's a long weekend. Monday is so-called 'family day'. So, I've got Vday followed up by 'family day' (of which I have none. Well, I mean I do - but not 'my own', I've got 'rents and siblings, who live pretty far away) to contend with. I'm trying to focus on other things. Maybe I'll buy myself my own d*mn chocolate tomorrow and 'be good to me' ;) Still, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't bothering me a bit! ((HUGS!))
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
Ugh...I hate Valentine's Day...just a reminder if your life's not rosey picture perfect, you get to go everywhere and have it shoved down your throat...hearts, candy, and ALL those stupid jewelry engagement commercials...retch.
Your comment about "last year" really hit my core. Because "last year" my stomach was in knots because this selfish JAM in my life totally blew me off _again_to go on a romantic getaway cruise with his then GF...and I found out about it through a mutual co-worker. He had been with me the night before he left to go meet her. I just want to vomit thinking about it.
So here we are a whole YEAR later...still in this mess. My question to myself is where do I want to be this time next year? Still pining? or in recovery? The choice is obvious, but the inevitable pain that has to be endured is daunting. Plus it means I finally have to face some pretty jolting things about myself: low self esteem, fear of abandonment, the reality of getting older, marriage on the rocks, childhood issues, ect ect ect.
Hang in there this weekend - if you get through it, then so can I. We CAN do this. We will do this. And very soon, the 14th will be behind us and all the V-day stuff thrown out.
Instead of being CONSUMED by what Xmm will be doing for his wife , you might try thinking about what you can do to make the day special for your H. Valentine's Day is not just about us, but also about the men, children, close friends, etc. who are in our RL.
Oh, yeah, that lucky, lucky woman; she's got _that guy_ lavishing her with gifts and attention. Oh, she must be so thrilled. EW EW EW. "Hey, Lady. It's all a ruse! He's a liar, a cheat and you are being duped." Better? Pity that poor woman, don't be jealous of her. YOU, on the other hand, have seen the light. YOU can move forward with your life with the benefit of all the truth, enlightenment, and promise of a better future!!!! LUCKY YOU, Alice.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox (ps - will you be my valentine??) Dee
Funny, the only thing that reminds me of xAP on Vday is our mutual disdain of it. I think it may have been one of the first things we spoke about, commercialized holidays and so forth. We had both agreed that one should show love every day. Yes, I now see the glaring irony in that statement ;)
---- 'It may be that when we no longer know what to do, We have come to our real work, And that when we no longer know which way to go, We have begun our real journey' - Wendell Berry
Isn't it strange that we still hope to get something on Valentine's Day? I do.
I am married and I am sure XAP doesn't even remember Valentine's Day (especially not for me, but I don't think he will remember to give his wife something), still I am listening with one ear if I hear some stranger sneaking by the house to put a card for me in the mail ;-)
((HUGS!))
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Alice,
Ugh...I hate Valentine's Day...just a reminder if your life's not rosey picture perfect, you get to go everywhere and have it shoved down your throat...hearts, candy, and ALL those stupid jewelry engagement commercials...retch.
Your comment about "last year" really hit my core. Because "last year" my stomach was in knots because this selfish JAM in my life totally blew me off _again_to go on a romantic getaway cruise with his then GF...and I found out about it through a mutual co-worker. He had been with me the night before he left to go meet her. I just want to vomit thinking about it.
So here we are a whole YEAR later...still in this mess. My question to myself is where do I want to be this time next year? Still pining? or in recovery? The choice is obvious, but the inevitable pain that has to be endured is daunting. Plus it means I finally have to face some pretty jolting things about myself: low self esteem, fear of abandonment, the reality of getting older, marriage on the rocks, childhood issues, ect ect ect.
Hang in there this weekend - if you get through it, then so can I. We CAN do this. We will do this. And very soon, the 14th will be behind us and all the V-day stuff thrown out.
Hugs,
Misty
Instead of being CONSUMED by what Xmm will be doing for his wife , you might try thinking about what you can do to make the day special for your H. Valentine's Day is not just about us, but also about the men, children, close friends, etc. who are in our RL.
~ Iddy~
~Iddy~
Yes, it's normal, but it's just another day.
Oh, yeah, that lucky, lucky woman; she's got _that guy_ lavishing her with gifts and attention. Oh, she must be so thrilled. EW EW EW. "Hey, Lady. It's all a ruse! He's a liar, a cheat and you are being duped." Better? Pity that poor woman, don't be jealous of her. YOU, on the other hand, have seen the light. YOU can move forward with your life with the benefit of all the truth, enlightenment, and promise of a better future!!!! LUCKY YOU, Alice.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
(ps - will you be my valentine??)
Dee
Well, when you put it like that ;)
Funny, the only thing that reminds me of xAP on Vday is our mutual disdain of it. I think it may have been one of the first things we spoke about, commercialized holidays and so forth. We had both agreed that one should show love every day. Yes, I now see the glaring irony in that statement ;)
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry
Wcfem-Deeulta has always had a fine way of putting things,
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Isn't it strange that we still hope to get something on Valentine's Day? I do.
I am married and I am sure XAP doesn't even remember Valentine's Day (especially not for me, but I don't think he will remember to give his wife something), still I am listening with one ear if I hear some stranger sneaking by the house to put a card for me in the mail ;-)