Very sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
Very sad
4
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 11:08am

Hey all,

I made it one month, but the last couple of days have been hard. Really hard. I've had the strongest urge to reach out to him. This seems worse than day 1. At least back then I felt some sense of control over the situation. Now I feel like he is forgetting about me and that is a tough pill to swallow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2011
In reply to: tennisgirl28
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 11:15am
Ok go through this one, what happens if you contact him and he tells you he's done and never wants to talk to you again? Or he totally ignores you then what? Even he's happy to hear from you now what? What you feel is normal right now, do the 48 hour rule and then see how you feel, it will be far worse if he rejects you now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: tennisgirl28
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 11:46am

You can make it through this, tennisgirl!

Like Happy suggested, apply that 48-hour rule...and you will feel better and more empowered that you exercised impulse control and did not break NC. And you will also see that these urges WILL pass and feel more confident about your ability to get through the next one too.

I know I know...we all hate the thought that someone is going to forget about us.


Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
In reply to: tennisgirl28
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 1:42pm
Well said, Clarity. Tennis, I am also glad you posted here. It takes courage and strength to make it thru the 48 hour rule. But the 48 hour rule is a gem!! I encourage you to try it. You will not regret it! What you WILL regret is contacting xap...it will throw you right back down into the A-hole. It stinks in there. It sucks to come out of the hole, but we are here to cheer you on. You can do this.

((((HUGS))))

Hearts <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
In reply to: tennisgirl28
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 4:37pm
Thanks for the support guys. It really does mean a lot. The 48 hour rule is the a thing of genius. I'm trying to be strong. It was easy this morning because we had a busy family day. Now my H is watching playoff bball and my son is playing his new video game and I have no idea what to do with myself. I know I use to enjoy things before this A, but I'm having a hard time remembering what those things were. I completely gave up everything. I have to get some new hobbies to fill the time we use to spend together. Happy those are some really good questions. I will remember them the next time I have an urge. Clarity, Heart is right, that was very well said. Thank you all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to: tennisgirl28
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 7:40pm

I know just what you mean!  The getting rid of him isn't that hard, but in those weeks later, when you realize the A is really over and it isn't coming back, that's when it always got harder for me, too.  You hit the nail on the head...the idea of him moving on and getting over me is...welll...insulting.  NOBODY should EVER get over me!  LOL...Ok maybe not really, but if feels that way.  It is sad to just be a person in his past, but that said, I know that made an impact on his life. Even if we are not friends anymore, I will always be there in some ways, like he will always be in my mind in some ways.  That's just life and we can't stop it.  The people we have loved, whether they were friends, family, or lovers, always leave their mark on our soul even after they are gone.  He won't forget you, but he was also have to learn to deal with not having you around anymore, just as you have had to come to terms with it.  That's what helps me through it this time, although what do I know?  I'm only 12 days out this time...lol...but hopefully I will still feel this way in a few weeks.  Like you said, it is a tough time.  Be strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2011
In reply to: tennisgirl28
Sat, 04-28-2012 - 7:54pm

I understand this. My ending was almost a YEAR ago and I still go through cycles of not caring and then I get hit with this awful feeling of being forgotten by him. LIke now, I am thinking my goodness, has it really been a year - I am completely erased from his mind. And the urge to contact hits. But, I am not necessarily forgotten, in fact I don't think he could ever forget me :smileyhappy: Our experience left a mark on both of us, even though there is now NC and silence.