Very :( - talked to him. Starting over...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Very :( - talked to him. Starting over...
11
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 9:42am

I'll go with the short version of how I messed up and have to reset LC.

I woke up having an emotional day yesterday... missing him, not feeling

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 10:35am

K-

He doesn't plan to leaver her and likely never will. If he wanted to be with you, he would have left a long time ago. His "love" for you and what it would take to be with you would have over-ridden any fears he had about leaving his M. But you see, he is a coward, like so many APs are. He wants you so that you can continue to stroke his ego in private and he wants his M so that he can show the world what a great family man he is. Cowardly cake eater. That's all he is.

Take a real good look at him and ask yourself if you don't deserve and desire so much better: He's a coward, a cheat and a liar. Plain and simple. Doesn't make him a bad person, just like none of us are bad people. It just means he has character flaws that are HIS to fix. It is not your responsibility to fix them, nor is it in your best intrest to overlook them. Just

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 10:44am
Konline,

What Alwayst said. No need to reiterate. Read my signature line and memorize it.

((Hugs))
Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 10:44am

K- Sorry to hear all that went on. Throughout your post, you imply that its his choices that are leading to the end of the A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 10:47am

Great post. I am "Luvin" the way you have been stepping up.

((Hugs))

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 10:51am

K,

It just plain sucks having to work with XAP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 11:30am
Me too. Heartache. Good post.

Konline,

I am Pretty far out of my A, yet thru ur words I am reminded of the pain. Horrid pain.

Why is it up to him and what he does? What about u? When are u going to stand up for you? Who is if you are not? I know u are still in the fog and raw and all. I am just trying to get thru to you. I have tried all types of ways to get thru...along with the board, u take it, u take it and it's like you hear me but ya ain't really listenting.

I am trying to stop you from taking the long not so pleasant scenic route. This is already going to be one of the most difficult things u will ever do.

If u want a chance at this you gotta do more than just tell him.

Think of your daughter, think of the women that you want her to be, think of the years u will never get back with her, all that u invested in him, shoulda been invested in her. I have a daughter. You think she is oblivious....she is a child and deserves all of you. She is the only person you owe anything to, outside of yourself. Might since it's too difficult for u to see that, I gotta come at you on behalf of that little girl I am sure senses your pain. Mine sure did. U can't hide this stuff....it seeps out of your skin no matter how much you paint that smile on.

I will support u but you YOU gotta start putting in the work. From you post...ALL has been said and we shall not hear another thing about breaking any contact further. LC needs to be in FULL effect. N know that we will know what and if you are following the rules...better yet, YOU will know. N more words are meant to be temporary words n thoughts of inspiration. They are to linger on your head, along with the words of others on this board...chant it if u have to....this ain't easy but it is doable!!

Now get to gettin!
Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 12:02pm
His coming over to your house was just another desperate attempt to reel you back in. You handled it well. He will keep using the "not ready to leave" excuse as long as you allow him to. Stand strong and hold your ground.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 12:50pm

OMG... I'm posting all in one place again (is that ok,by the way?) because I just had kind of a breakthrough that you guys ignited.

I was reading your responses and crying... especially yours, Lovin... hitting the nail on the head with DD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 1:06pm

"I've questioned for a long time not wanting to be with him at all (even after he were to move out because I'd seen all the negative parts of him).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sat, 01-22-2011 - 1:17pm
Thank you! AND I was just talking to the only friend who knows and had another mini-revelation: I told her I don't WANT him to leave anymore, I just want him to stop trying to pull me back in. Now I have to cut all his opportunities to try and stop worrying about hurting his feelings... he's certainly hurt mine... and this isn't about HIM.

Thank you thank you thank you!

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