The W and I had "the talk"

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
The W and I had "the talk"
5
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 6:55pm

I don't really know where to start. My mind is oddly at peace for the first time in quite some time but my heart feels quite heavy.


XMM's W and I had "the talk" last night. It was very hard hearing what she had to say and for me to say what I needed to. We were both nice to each other. No finger pointing or name calling on either part. Just cold hard facts that neither one of us could ignore any longer. It started out with us calling each other back and forth yesterday which is unusual in itself but there was also a feeling during the calls that was as if we both had something to say but didn't know where to start. I suppose I started it by saying that I thought we needed to talk and from there it just took on a life of its own. I told her that if I needed to go away for good that all she had to do was to say that and that I would respect it. She said it. She told me that I was a threat to her marriage and that if I continued to be in the picture that her marriage would undoubtably end. She told me that he still loved me and wanted to be with me and that she couldn't live this way anymore....worrying....wondering....knowing that his mind and heart were somewhere else with someone else. She said she knew it was just a matter of time before he figured out a way to be with me and that he wouldn't stop

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 9:58pm

You did the right thing kristin, you did good.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 11:50pm

Oh gosh Kristin, I can understand how you must feel. I bet in a way you are relieved ? Maybe glad this was forced on you.


I hope you don't dwell on it. Time to go head first into something that you have been ignoring or putting off. Take some precious time for yourself and chill out. You deserve it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Tue, 09-29-2009 - 12:07am
Part of me is relieved. Part of me is sad. I am going to try and stay positive. I know life will go on just as it always has. I cried last night. I cried for him and for her and for myself and my family. It felt good to get it out and afterwords I felt emotionally drained. I slept better than I have in a while. I am hoping that this time is for good. This has gone on for long enough and I just don't have it in me anymore. Thanks for the thoughts and words of encouragement.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Tue, 09-29-2009 - 1:34pm

Hey Kristin -


Just wanted to say that I know you are feeling sad right now, but as I see it, as all of this mess goes, you are in a pretty good position.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Tue, 09-29-2009 - 3:59pm

Thank you. I have every intention of keeping my end of the deal. I know for my personal sanity and safety as well as my families that this all has to stop now. Yes I am sad and hurt....I would be lying to myself if I denied it....but the biggest emotion I feel right now is relief. I know that sounds weird to some but if you knew this man you would understand. We live about twenty minutes apart so it is not as if I have to worry about accidentally running into him. If anyone were to make contact it would be him and I really don't think that is an issue. He is angry with me and I feel like that will keep him at a distance. I got what I needed out of the deal which was an I'm sorry to her....it was heartfelt on my part but who knows how she took it......and a goodbye to him. I wish he would of given me at least a so long or good riddance but he didn't and what he did give me will just have to be good enough. It is time to put the past to rest and work on a brighter future for my family and I just couldn't do that with this looming over me.