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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Want to join!
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Mon, 01-10-2011 - 11:47am

Hello,

My name is Martin and I have been reading this board for a few weeks. It seems like a great group of people. Try to make my long story short. MM (dont shoot me :)) been in A for 3 years. LDA and havent seen in 9 months. The spark is gone and it has become drudgery. I have been trying to end it really for almost two years. She wants to remain friends. Ive tried and its not working. Ive tried to end it like 10-20 times no lie but she wont let go. Ive tried being nice, rational and mean and nothing works. She is a nice person and Ive tried not to hurt her. She is in a miserable marraige and relies on me for whats missing. I know many may say just cut ties and NC and no email. Agreed but I wanted to end this is as adults by mutual understanding. Thats not happened.

Anyways, my life is great. I have a great job and my marraige is better than ever. My wife was previously verbally, physically and emotionally abusive. but she has CHANGED. She knows I wont put up with it anymore. We had a D-Day June 2009 and it was horrible. I never felt so low. But she has forgiven me (takes time) and we are happy.

Ready to move on. I am here to give and recieve support so I welcome all feedback. Ready to move on but AP wont let go.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 5:50pm

She texted me today she wished me happiness and was surprised I didnt send a goodbye email. Ive already done that 10 times. Should I asay a final goodbye?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 5:53pm

No. By not responding you are saying goodbye in volumes. You have 4 days NC, now almost 5. Keep it going. You are in complete control now so grab hold of that steering wheel and drive away. She knows it's over. Enough already.

Stay strong,

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 5:59pm

Lulu,

Thanks for your reply. I can see the friends thing doesnt work. Can you expound upon how I'd be doing her a favor by cutting all ties? Up till this point it has been tough. Id say we need to talk. And it would be not today, todays a bad day, my kids are sick, whatever. Now mind you there have been times where I certainly didnt want to let go either. But that time is not now. She always said if we went NC or LC she would never come back to me. Guess that scared me a little. Think it was a ploy by her probably. Thanks for your insight!. Anything I can contribute please let me know.

MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
In reply to: amexdm
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 6:00pm

Livin,

Ty 4 the welcome. Walk and block eh? Sounds like the new trend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
In reply to: amexdm
Mon, 01-10-2011 - 6:03pm

Martin,

Just wanted to say welcome and I'm glad you are here.

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