Wanted to share this article....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wanted to share this article....
Sat, 10-02-2004 - 8:29pm
I found this on the ivillage site. Many of you may have already read it. I pretains mainly to dating but thought it wouldn't hurt to share it anyway. Most of it we already know, feel or are experiencing right now.


How to Walk Away -- Once and for All

Question.........

"I've decided that I must detach myself from the guy I've been seeing, but I need help sticking to that. He cannot commit to me, and I'm devaluing myself by staying involved. He knows that I want and need more, but his actions and lack of response to my needs tell me that he doesn't care about us as deeply as I do. I think he is just addicted to the chemistry, the passion and the sex.

I'm not usually one to partake in intimacy unless I'm in a committed relationship, but that's where I messed up this time. I know that I need to stay busy with friends and work right now in order to keep my mind off of him. But I'm afraid I won't stick to it. He is my weakness. I've tried once before to walk away and I wasn't strong enough. Please give me any advice you have on this matter!" --iVillager sillyme11





(Sherry Amatenstein

Whether you're searching for Mr. Right or unloading a loser boyfriend, love and relationship expert Sherry Amatenstein will help you improve your dating game. Submit your question here!)



Answer............

I both applaud your determination to end this soul-sucking relationship and understand your difficulty in doing so. It's hard, especially in these uncertain times, to walk away from a relationship, no matter how unfulfilling.

To strengthen your resolve to do what will ultimately make you happy, I urge you to think ahead. Five years ahead. Yes, fast-forward your brain. It's 2009, and you're still scared to leave this guy for the reasons cited above. He's still stringing you along, promising nothing but his body. Is this a scary thought or what?

To prevent such a doomsday scenario, leave the relationship and do the things you mentioned -- hang out with good friends, work out at the gym, work harder at your job and perhaps do volunteer work (helping others will make you feel better about yourself). Whenever you are tempted to fall back into his bed, just repeat your new mantra: "2009, 2009 -- no way!"



Have a good rest of your weekend and a new start to a new week!!!!

TCOM