Wanting to start over again

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Wanting to start over again
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 12:37pm
My affair ended 1 1/2 months ago. We work at the same place and he said he still wanted to be friends because he felt like he could talk to me about anything. At first it was a little awkward, we would go about our normal routine and not talk a lot. Here the past 2 wks. I feel like I am getting mixed signals from him. He still looks at me in that lustful look and has started joking around with me and making little comments. I see that old spark in his eyes and am dying to ask him if he wants to start up where we left off, but I don't want to make a fool of myself. At the same time if it is on his mind, I don't want the opportunity to pass me by. I wonder if he is trying to let me know that he does want to start it up again. I don't know what to do. Today I thought about just saying "the answer is yes " and going from there, but I didn't.

I think sometimes that no contact would be better, but yet at the same time I can not stand the thought of never seeing him again. He is a police officer that works at my place of employment as a side job.

I did break down last week and tell a friend at work about our affair. She wasn't too surprised because she said she had often wondered, just by the way he acts around me, I know my secret is safe with her.

This is my first time to ever have an affair, after 20 yrs of marraige and it has confused me, why did I let it happen, will I let it happen again. The answer is yes, I would let it happen with him again.

Any suggestions on how to let him know that I would do it again, like I said, I know that look in his eyes, and it was gone for a short while but it is back.......